Mom sends daughter's friend home after she disrupts sleepover with OCD rant. AITA?
When this mom is concerned about her daughter's friend's behavior, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for sending a girl home?'
So, my (38M) daughter (12) often has sleepovers throughout the summer. Honestly, we’re kind of that house anyway. I feel there’s always some kids over, even just to hang out during the day. I don’t mind. I’m a single dad, my daughter is an only child. So long as the kids are respectful and their parents are cool with it, let them raid the fridge and chill.
My daughter met a new friend, a neighborhood girl that’s the same age as her. We’ll call her Monica. Monica’s parents are a little stricter, which I respect. My daughter had another sleepover on the 4th.
Monica was among the group. I took the girls to watch some fireworks then took them home and left them to do whatever. Around 9, I heard some bickering and headed into the den where they were.
Monica said she wanted to go to bed. The other girls kept saying they weren’t tired. They honestly stay up pretty late. Monica said she had a strict bedtime and liked to stick to it. It seemed a bit obsessive compulsive to me.
I came up with the compromise that if Monica wanted to go to bed, she could sleep in my daughter’s room (the girls usually sleep in the living room) while the rest had fun. Monica was clearly a little disappointed that they weren’t going to stop the fun for her but agreed. I went back to what I was doing.
A half hour later, I hear Monica storming downstairs and chastising the other girls because they were being too loud. My daughter said that it wasn’t fair to expect them to censor themselves.
I tried to stay out of it but eventually went in there and asked to speak to my daughter privately. She said she wanted Monica to go home. I said alright, made Monica grab her stuff and walked her home. Monica was once again upset.
Monica’s parents are angry with me. They claim the girls should’ve just gone to bed early once. My daughter doesn’t even go to bed at 9 on school nights, let alone in the summer at a sleepover. I said it wasn’t fair to expect the girls to stop their fun or stay quiet. I suggested maybe Monica isn’t ready for sleepovers.
This didn’t help. My daughter does admit she didn’t tell Monica that they usually stay up pretty late, but also said she thought it was common knowledge that sleepovers are like that.So, am I wrong for having Monica leave without trying to problem solve more? AITA?
Let's see what internet users had to say.
0wlscardinals writes:
NTA, it does indeed seem like she isn't ready for sleepovers or AT LEAST has different needs / preferences for a sleepover. You / your daughter were hosting and it was unreasonable to expect the party to be shut down at 9pm.
The original compromise made sense but that seemed inadequate to Monica - who sounds like a pretty overbearing and unpleasant child to be chastising her peers like that.
The only thing I wonder is if you'd given Monica like one more chance, maybe by saying something like 'Hey Monica, we don't want to send you home but we can't just shut down the party so, do you want to go to bed here despite the noise or would you rather go home?'.
But honestly, this was probably a good and needed lesson for both Monica and her parents. If they're going to be that rigid and uncooperative while guests at someone else's home, it's probably a situation they should avoid.
pravin1123 writes:
Yes the world doesn’t stop because Monica has a 9pm bedtime. I thought you handled the situation perfectly. NTA. 9pm is really early for a sleepover. I can’t believe the parents feel the girls should have went to bed early. I have a feeling Monica won’t be invited to other sleepovers and I feel sad for her but you did the right thing as a parent.
gleaminbcubicle writes:
NTA. You tried to let it settle it for themselves, came up with a good compromise, spoke to your daughter privately and returned Monica home safely. I feel bad for Monica.
I remember the sleepover I had at 11 where my mom rented Predator and one of the kids said he wasn't allowed to watch Rated R movies. We watched Batteries Not Included and Ronald was never invited to a party again.