Wedding Shaming: 'Mother-of-the-Groom picks the bride's lingerie?'

"Mother-of-the-Groom picks the Bride’s lingerie?"

I am getting married in a few months and my future wife was wedding dress shopping all last week and one day she went with my mother (70s, Midwestern US, Irish catholic). My mom says there is a tradition in the family of the groom’s mother picking out the bridal lingerie.

My mom tells my future wife a story how she was engaged before she met my father. She got a white lingerie set from that guy’s mom and kept it after the breakup. The topic came up again in the family when mom and dad got engaged. Mom showed off what she had to her future mother-in-law, and after that my dad asked his own God-fearing mother, “Does it come in black?”

My mom thinks it is a funny story about my dad’s lust for her. My future wife recounted this to me that night AND that my mom wants to go out shopping again next week with her.

If my future wife waited until the night of the wedding to tell me as she was showing off her new lingerie set that was handpicked by my mother, I truly believe I would not be able to preform my husbandly duties.

My whole body felt it is having an allergic reaction. This is why Munch painted “The Scream.” My future wife knew that this is bizarre and was horrified herself, but gently shut it down. The groom’s mother picking the bridal lingerie? “Here, go be with my son in this. I know he likes big chests."

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Perky214 said:

That’s as gross as the MOG in a this close >< to a wedding dress and dancing to a love song like “I Will Always Love You” with the groom at the reception. SOOOOOO MUCHHHHHH ICKKKKKK.

magicrowantree said:

My MIL did the same for me...it was disturbing. Especially since I opened it at Christmas in front of my womanizing FIL (he's a pig and I avoid him as much as possible) and my poor BIL who looked like he wanted the floor to swallow him up. I quietly donated the set during spring cleaning donations.

AerianeJean said:

Does this horror also apply when a bride's future MIL gives her lingerie at the bridal shower while adding- for all the guests to hear- "this is my son's favorite color"? Cause that was...

darkdesertedhighway said:

Yeah, I ran into this with my own in-laws. Granted, I'm a transplant and I had no idea of local customs or whatever. But when I was gifted some lingerie from my MIL, I was truly icked (and I never use that word). She tried to throw me a lingerie party to start, but I refused to go because I'd never heard of such a thing.

What she got me was nice and not too risque - a silk slip, hung mid thigh with spaghetti straps, and matching shawl thingie - but I never wore it and I eventually just donated it.

Because 1. lingerie is personal and intimate, who knows if it's your style or taste, and 2. having your MIL dress you up in anything bedroom/nighttime related, much less things known for intimate times, with her son is weird to me.

BabyCowGT said:

I love my MIL and my own parents, but there's some things that just don't need their involvement. Like bedroom activities. As far as any of them are concerned, our toddler arrived via stork delivery at the hospital.

KiwiDoom said:

Ugh, my own mother did this to me at my bridal shower. Luckily I managed not to have to open it during the shower, it was in my church's fellowship hall. It was this long sleeved ruffles and satin monstrosity of a robe and nightgown. It made it home, where I disposed of it. I never got over the ick factor.