'My mother ruined my whole wedding experience and I still don't forgive her...'

"My mother ruined my whole wedding experience and I still don't forgive her..."

Unfortunately, this took place from September 2012-December 2013... So, I've been married for 13 years this June. I grew up with a narcissistic mother who I didn't realize was narcissistic until she sabotaged my wedding experience.

My now husband proposed to me in September 2012 after dating for a year and a half, and we were so excited to take the next step. A couple of weeks later, him and I were discussing wedding dates and I knew we'd need some time. So we decided on September 21, 2013. We even got our engagement pictures done with that date so I could create save the dates...

When I told my mother, she lost it... Unbeknownst to me, she and the rest of my family (stepdad and 3 siblings) were supposed to be moving that year and she wasn't sure if they would have the money to come back so we had to do it sooner (this is important for later).

On top of this, she insisted on a traditional Catholic wedding ceremony, even though my husband's family was not religious...I fought her on it for a little bit, but eventually gave in...

By April of 2013, I had spoken to the priest who would officiate the ceremony and explained my situation. He was wonderful and managed to get us squeezed in that summer...June 1st...

We live in SW Arizona, and anyone who is familiar with this area knows it's already hotter than hell on top of being so last minute. This gave us less than 4 months to get the whole thing together...

Because of this, I never got my dress properly fitted, my sister (MOH) who is 5 years younger than me, and my other 2 bridesmaids didn't get their dresses fitted properly either...my mother had her hands in everything...

I didn't get a bridal shower, a bachelorette, or a honeymoon, but I put that all behind me because I was marrying the love of my life and as long as I got to marry him, it didn't matter.

My side of the family were late to the reception, and everyone but my stepdad (who was supportive and walked me down the aisle) stayed isolated. It was so uncomfortable...Not to mention we had to have the reception in a park because we didn't have time to look at venues.

Well...fast forward to September 2013.. remember when I said my mother insisted that the family wouldn't be there in September?? Well...they didn't end up leaving until the END OF NOVEMBER!

I was livid and have had numerous arguments with her over it and every time, she's the victim...I'm glad they moved out of state, as I am low contact with my mom, but still have a great relationship with my sister. My other sister and brother were too little at the time.

It feels shallow, but I felt like a super important time was taken from me that I'll never get back. My husband is amazing though and we joke about getting divorced so we could get married again, but I don't want to do that ha ha.

I toyed with idea of doing a vow renewal for our 10th anniversary, but we never had the money or time. If you made it this far, thank you so much for listening to my rant. It feels cathartic getting it off my chest.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Basic-Organization30 said:

I hope you can do a vow renewal at some point that is 100% your and husband's vision and your family knows nothing about it until it's done. I'm so sorry she stole that day from you. Steal it back!

Unfair-Clue2631 said:

My parents were married sooner than they’d planned (family stuff, but no pregnancy) just at the registrar’s (I’m in the UK) with 2 witnesses. They “eloped” to Gretna Green for their 25th anniversary and for their 50th, dad wanted to finally give mum the wedding she didn’t get.

My siblings and I planned everything for them, and they finally had their ‘first dance’. There is still plenty of time to re-do your vows and when you do, it will be amazing. And I wouldn’t invite your mom for the next one.