"My date followed me to my car...am I overreacting?"
I (F30) had a lunch date at a higher-end restaurant with a man (M36) from a dating app, it was our first meeting. We had a decent conversation during lunch and I learned about his good personality traits. I wasn't attracted to him physically but was willing to get to know him more because it seemed like we had compatible personalities.
When we reached our max time allowed at the table, I asked the server for the bill and he said he would pay. I offered to split but he insisted he covered the entire bill. I thanked him for his generosity and we made our way outside of the restaurant. When we got out of the restaurant, he asked if I drove and I said yes, so he offered to walk me to my car which is parked 3 mins walk away at the mall parking.
I insisted twice that I'm fine walking alone because it was during broad daylight but he followed me anyways. I thought this was strange and I didn't want to be rude because he paid for an expensive meal. So I let him follow me thinking we would reach my car, say bye, and leave. While we were walking, he reached out his hand to me and I didn't feel comfortable holding it so I said "no, thanks."
When we reached my car, he commented on the brand and model I drove, looking at it in admiration and sharing that his family also drove that particular brand's vehicle. I said my thanks and bye, and then got in the car.
As soon as I start turning on my car, he knocked on my window. I opened my door to ask him if there was something wrong. He said let me know when you get home and then gingerly walked away. I caught a bit of ick at this behavior. Am I overreacting?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Ok-Beach-9885 said:
Fellow men. When a woman says no, listen to them.
lavender_lie said:
The part where he asked to walk her to her car wasn't what was strange, it's the fact that she said no twice and he just...started following her. That is creepy. He may have been trying to be a gentleman as the commenters are saying, but that does not excuse the behavior. When somebody tells you no, it means no.
Paeshee said:
The first no should’ve been the end of it.
Spiritual_Oil_7411 said:
You told him no, twice. I would've gone on into the mall and told him I needed to do some shopping, even meeting some friends for shopping. He probably was harmless, trying to do the gentlemen thing, but damn, he is dense.
peachfluffed said:
The people saying you’re overreacting either lack reading comprehension or don’t understand consent. You declined TWICE, and he still followed you.
DoctorMoebius said:
NOR. It's right to offer. But, it's downright disrespectful and insulting to not accept her answer. OP's survived 30 years without this white night. Totally acceptable to get the ick. That's a "tip of the iceberg" moment. He will disregard her opinion on a whole lot of other things, in the future. Because...he thinks he knows better than she does.