'My daughter's teacher said her report is 'immoral.' Am I overreacting?' UPDATED

"My daughter's teacher said her report is 'immoral.' Am I overreacting?"

So my 9-year-old daughter has an assignment every year where they embody a historical figure of significance. She looks forward to this every year and she really gets into picking her figure out and learning about them. They’re supposed to pick three people, then the teacher chooses which of the three they can do.

This year my daughter chose Freddie Mercury, Prince, and Anne of Cleves. Today the teacher messaged me saying that Freddie Mercury and Prince aren’t acceptable because they weren’t “moral” people. And Anne of Cleves isn’t acceptable because she didn’t make enough of an impact on the world.

For reference, last year my daughter was Frida Kahlo and the year before she was Josephine Baker. I prepared a big long response about how morality is subjective, every human is complex and not wholly moral or immoral, my family doesn’t believe in judging other people’s morality, and that choosing a “moral” person wasn’t even a condition as part of the assignment.

But then my husband came home and found me seething and he thinks I’m overreacting and this isn’t a fight worth fighting. So… am I overreacting? Or should I stand my ground?

After reading the comments, OP edited the post to include:

INFO: it is a private school but it’s not religious. This teacher is brand new and just started after Thanksgiving. We live in northern Nevada. It’s a school-wide assignment so the teacher didn’t make it up. Every class does it every year, it’s like a tradition. They switch it up for the grades, like kindergarten draws a picture of their person while 8th grade does a several page report.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Significant_Cold8386 said:

Nah you’re not overreacting at all, that teacher is being super inconsistent here. If Frida Kahlo and Josephine Baker were fine, then suddenly Freddie and Prince are “too immoral”… what are we doing lol.

I’d absolutely push back, politely but firmly, and ask for the actual written criteria, because it sounds like the teacher is just imposing their personal values instead of following the assignment.

EmpoweRED21 said:

NOR - I’d die on this hill for my child. This teacher would never know what’s coming. All of my corporate experience of escalating to supervisors, passive aggressive emails, etc would come out to STAND ON BUSINESS.

wussgawd said:

You're not overreacting. I would absolutely fight it. Your daughter's teacher is a bigot.

RedditName9000 said:

NOR. I think you should ask your kid what to do. If this is important to her, then fight it. It's the kind of thing she might remember and cherish for a very long time. And it sounds like it is important to her so I'd want to encourage her to do it. But if she doesn't want to go against her teacher on this then I'd say let it go.

WeddingGlittering643 said:

You’re not overreacting those choices are historically significant, and "morality" is a slippery, subjective standard. It’s reasonable to ask the teacher to clarify or reconsider, especially since that wasn’t part of the assignment.

Adelucas said:

Freddie and Prince were very moral characters. They were fiercely loyal friends and gave a lot to charity behind the scenes. Anne of Cleves was fascinating as she had a close relationship with Henry and he called her "his beloved sister." I suspect the teacher knows nothing of history and wants some boring essay on George Washington.

Lycaon-Ur said:

Freddie Mercury helped raise in excess of $100 million to fight world hunger. Ask the teacher what she's ever done to make the world better.

UPDATE:

There is a resolution but it’s pretty anti climactic. I emailed the teacher back, here’s what I said: “I’m sorry, but the assignment was a historical figure of significance. Morality is subjective. And if you think Anne of Cleves didn’t make a big enough contribution to history, maybe hearing a report about her is just what you need! I’d like to ask you to reconsider and choose from the list ____ provided.

She thought about each figure long and hard and she’s very excited to share about them with her classmates.” I also emailed the principal with my concerns. Here’s that email: “Hi Mrs. _____ Today Mrs. _____ messaged me that she didn’t approve of any of _____’s choices for Chautauqua for reasons that I feel are inappropriate.

She said that Freddie Mercury and Prince were both not “moral people.” I find this problematic for several reasons:

1) It’s not a teacher’s responsibility to judge or encourage a student to judge a person’s morality. I try hard to teach my children not to pass judgment onto people so it bothers me that her teacher is encouraging her to do just that.

2) A person’s vices aren’t something that would be in a third grader’s assignment to begin with. She specifically told _____ that both of them are “rockstars” who used drugs and had “loose morals” which is actually not even true. Prince was vehemently against drug and alcohol use and was very religious.

But regardless, it’s wildly inappropriate to assume _____’s report would include a section about how Freddie Mercury liked to party and his drug of choice. Please.

3) The objective of the assignment is to showcase people of influence, not morality. With ____’s last choice, Anne of Cleves, she told ____ that she wasn’t well known enough. I would argue that’s a perfect reason why ____ should do a report on her: to highlight her influence.

I messaged her back and asked her to reconsider, because ____ was pretty disappointed when she came home. But beyond making her unhappy, I still thought I should tell you my concerns. Thank you, ______”

So the big finale: the teacher messaged me back with this: “I have talked with Administration about Chautauqua. We have decided students may choose any of their choices. Please let me know which character you have decided on as soon as possible.”

So yeah. I’m glad this is the resolution because I’m not usually one to rock the boat. Oh, and I also had a talk with my daughter about how sometimes teachers can be wrong and that it’s okay to question the rules if we don’t agree with them.

We also talked about what “loose morals” means, that people who have different beliefs are not bad or good people, that substance use doesn’t shape a person’s entire character, and that she did nothing wrong. We also discussed possibly choosing a different person just in case.