"My MIL tried to fight with me on my wedding day..."
I (27f) got married to my husband in December. His mother and I have had a very strained relationship for several years now. My husband is an only child so that plays into why she is the way she is. Context here, my husband always defends me and stands up for me to her so she never does anything around him anymore.
Our wedding was rushed because family members on both sides had recent medical diagnosis and we both agreed it wouldn't feel right to be missing close family members. When we told both of our parents what we wanted, my parents and his dad both said it was about time.
His mother immediately scolded me saying I better treat him right or I'll have hell to pay. (We've been together for over 2 years at this point and nothing bad ever happened) turns out she was mad because during some medical treatment that I was getting earlier in the year...
Me and my husband argued over the phone about something on the way home from an appointment she took me to. (neither of us remember arguing let alone what it could be about) so I knew right then it was gonna be an issue.
We tried to include her in the wedding planning but she REFUSED every single time. She didn't even want to know what our colors were. My husband was heartbroken because that's his mom but he knew he couldn't force her to participate. We planned everything anyway and just told them when things were happening.
Since we got married the first weekend in December and his parents live an hour away, our last time seeing them before the wedding was Thanksgiving. We went the day after because my husband works in healthcare and had to work on that day. That day was a good day for everyone.
No fights, no arguments, nothing. FIL asks if we were ready and had everything we needed. we say we are so excited and can't wait. MIL goes oh I need to ask if this is ok to wear. She showed us two outfit options and both were pretty and looked great. She asked us which one we wanted her to wear. I told my husband that he should pick since it's his mom and both were pretty.
They talked it over and combined things about both because certain aspects seemed more his mom than others. She got really emotional and started crying because she knew we were gonna get married but it's really hitting her. It seemed like happy tears so I was finally happy my husband would get to have his mom included.
When we were getting ready to leave he forgot something in the house so his mom walked over to the car because I was already inside. She said she was excited and couldn't wait for the big day. She then casually says that she tried on her wedding dress 2 weeks ago but it didn't fit. My husband comes back, says goodbye, and we leave.
Now I couldn't get what she said out of my mind. I couldn't sleep, barely ate, felt super sick. I was panicking so bad. My best friend, we'll call her Hadley, flew in on the Wednesday to hang out and help out with last minute wedding details. (Hadley wasn't an official bridesmaid because she lived far away but her and her family helped so much).
The day before me, Hadley, and my husband's groomswoman (we'll call her Amelia) went to get our nails done together. Amelia just got into town for the wedding the night before and was asking about everything and how MIL has been. I told them both that she told me she tried on her wedding dress and I was so worried about her wearing a white dress and how she's been acting the entire time.
Hadley and Amelia both gasped and said ABSOLUTELY NOT (need it in true Charlotte tone) Amelia said if she sees anything or MIL tries anything, she'll take care of it. I fully trust Amelia and I absolutely love her so I know I don't have to worry. (Found out later that she brought a whole bottle of red wine to our ceremony space in case she did wear white).
Wedding Day: We get to the ceremony space around 12. Photographer got there around the same time and Hadley rode with me and my husband. Me and my husband went our separate ways and Hadley and photographer went with me to my room.
We start talking and Hadley starts on my makeup while we wait for other people to arrive and family and wedding party to join us in our respective places. Photographer is going in and out getting different pictures of everything and getting some of my husband and stuff.
Photographer comes back and sits down and chats with me and Hadley. My matron of honor and bridesman arrive then. (It's my brother and SIL who I'm very close with) Brother tells me congratulations and hugs me and says he's gonna go say hi to husband. SIL sits down and joins the conversation.
Right then, MIL walks in and says hi. I tell her hi and go back to facing Hadley who is still doing my makeup. MIL asked where the rings are because she didn't want us to be searching for them at the last minute and she's going to go put them in the waiting area.
I said "oh I have them with the rest of my jewelry. I grabbed them because I didn't trust him to remember them with everything else he was worried about and bringing." (He was in charge of grabbing the food to eat while getting ready, bringing payment for photographer, his own wedding attire, driving in general and packing stuff in the car, and the marriage license.
He was very adamant that since I did 95% of the planning that he could at least do all that the day of. I absolutely adore him). Guess I said the wrong thing because she started yelling at me saying I need to trust him now that we are getting married and that it's so wrong of me and why are we getting married if I feel that way and a bunch of other stuff.
It's my wedding day and I don't want to deal with this so I didn't say anything and turn back to Hadley and just let her continue doing my makeup. MIL took offense to that too and started yelling at me again repeating herself. I turn to her and ask her if she has shown what her son was wearing.
(He was wearing her dad's watch to have a piece of him there) that was also wrong because she yelled at me for trying to change the subject. She then storms off and I didn't see her again until after the ceremony. Hadley and SIL were so stunned they couldn't even speak.
Photographer told me she was so sorry that happened on my wedding day. I told her I was expecting something to happen and this isn't surprising. Photographer apologized again and said she's so sad to hear I deal with that. Amelia then walks in and is informed of what she missed and she tries to go confront MIL. I told her not to because it will upset husband. She just stays and helps out and chats.
Even though she tried to start something, we had a good wedding and nothing else happened. Everyone on his side showed up and most of my family did (that's another story for another day). She didn't wear white so I consider that a win.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
0fluffythe0ferocious said:
Great that you managed this woman, but now I'm wondering what else she has up her sleeves and if you and your husband are prepared for it.
Mother_Secretary_420 said:
I kinda worry about when you guys start having children. What/or how will she act/react to that. Im happy to hear that he does defend you. Thats not something a lot of men do anymore. I wish you both all the love and blessings this world has to offer.
Lil-AngelGurl_99 said:
Great management…more boundaries will need to be put in place at some point…. The next drama will be pregnancy and birth etc….Your hubby needs to start the discussions….
Individual_Cloud7656 said:
What is your husband going to do about this?