'My twin sister’s wedding: a case study in Golden Child favoritism...'

"My twin sister’s wedding: the world’s weirdest disappearing act..."

I went to my twin sister’s wedding last week, and let’s just say it was memorable but in like a case study in golden child favoritism sorta way. Highlights of the cringe: Months before, the bride texted me: “I’m not having a wedding party, but you can be in the room while I get ready.” Cute, right? Except plot twist: she absolutely DID have a bridal party. Our older sister was Maid of Honor, her husband had a Best Man.

Spoiler: she lied, she just wanted to make things extra weird by excluding her only other biological sister who also happens to be her twin sister. For context, my wedding last year included both my sisters as bridesmaids. I wasn’t invited to the rehearsal, wasn’t asked to be in a single photo, wasn’t included in anything. Imagine being erased in real time while still physically standing there existing.

During vows, she said she loved how her husband treats her “sister.” Singular. Problem? She has me (her twin sister), an older sister, three step-sisters, and two step-brothers. Multiple guests commented to me after the ceremony about how weird that was. Gee I didn’t notice…

During cocktail hour, guests also asked ME why I wasn’t a bridesmaid. My reply: “Your guess is as good as mine.” Like I’m not the twin with an answer to that, you’d have to ask the bride.

Father-of-the-bride speech: he opened with a 4-minute monologue about him driving to work in a snowstorm, turning around, pissing his pants in the car, and walking in the door only for the bride to ask, “Can you take me to the mall?” THAT was his favorite memory of her. Like it was open-mic night at a comedy club.

And then, only then, he pulled out the actual speech. I’ll admit, I felt genuine secondhand embarrassment for her in that moment but then again, I’m the family scapegoat, so maybe I’m just not familiar with what parental pride is supposed to sound like.

Meanwhile, I just smiled, clapped, danced, unbothered, passing joints around like an unofficial wedding bud tender. Didn’t cause a scene, didn’t need to. The scene was already written for me.

The big takeaway: Forget the food, the music, the flowers. The lasting memory every guest walked away with was: “Wow the bride really erased her twin sister who was there right in front of us.”

And now, a toast: here’s to my twin, the Golden Child. You sure worked overtime to erase me, and in doing so you gave me the greatest gift of all: you exposed yourself and our parents.

All the favoritism, the double standards, the triangulation, the scapegoating, the toxic dysfunctional family abuse I’ve been pointing out my whole life, met with gaslighting and minimization, you put it on full public display, and I didn’t even have to say a damn thing. Honestly, thank you. You did in one afternoon what a lifetime of me vocalizing never could. Even the flying monkeys are now officially out of work.

While I think your wedding was a strange time to put so much energy into trying to hurt and erase me, I’m glad you got the day you wanted. You certainly made an impression that people will never forget, though probably not for the reasons you hoped.

And now, every time you show those photos, you’ll spend the rest of your life being haunted by the same question: “Wait… where’s your twin?” You may have succeeded in embarrassed a twin, it sure wasn’t THIS twin. Cheers and good riddance.

Note: This was a small wedding, and I was related to most of the guests, many of whom had also attended my wedding last year. At mine, both of my sisters were bridesmaids because my parents insisted I had to have a bridal party for appearances, and it wouldn’t look right if they weren’t included.

At my twin’s wedding, that same “for appearances” rule didn’t apply. I only found out she had a Maid of Honor when she walked down the aisle with our older sister and both parents.

What made it stand out is the twin factor. My parents usually emphasize the “twin” identity when it benefits the family image, so the contrast of one sister being included while the other twin was not was noticeable, especially to people who had just seen both sisters included at my wedding.

It fits a long-standing pattern in my family: she’s treated as the golden child, while I’m often the afterthought. Even with birthdays, we share the same day but the celebration is built around her. If I can’t attend, it’s still marked as “celebrated” because she was. My parents deny favoritism, but the way they handled our weddings made the double standard clear to people outside the family.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Marsupial-Old said:

Twin here. My dad constantly forgets my birthday but remembers my twin sister's birthday every year and gets her a gift. I don't even get a text. I get you.

Sufficient-Mud-687 said:

This is all awful, but they really freed you. I love the way you handled it! What’s the deal with the other sister? Are they close? Do your parents treat her as an afterthought as well?

lucyslonev said:

Your parents definitely have a favorite which is just being a bad parent. As for your sister make sure you don’t do her any favors she doesn’t deserve it.

Real_Cat7527 said:

I am so sorry that you got mistreated by your ”family” members like that , so glad that you were strong enough to ignore them and not bother your peace by them , please live your life freely and take care of yourself.

ThisIsJustMe7 said:

As an only child, all I can say is no contact would be better than this. Then you can say you’re an only child.

Fluid-Set-2674 said:

Wow. I have almost no words. You're right; she did all of the work for you.