New mom wants to prioritize herself on first Mother's Day. Grandmas are livid. AITA?
When this woman is annoyed on mother's day, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for wanting to prioritize myself on my first mother's day?'
This coming Sunday will be my first mother's day as a mom, after 3 years of infertility and multiple miscarriages. I think my history may be clouding my judgement here and making me selfish but, at the same time, I'm having a hard time seeing how I'm wrong. I'm hoping you guys can give me some clarity.
All I want to do for mother's day is spend the day with my husband and baby and go for a nice lunch at my favorite restaurant. This has apparently pissed everyone off. My mother wants us to drive 1.5 hours to spend mother's day with her. I really don't want to spend 3 hours in a car with a five month old in one day.
My MIL wants us to have lunch with her before she goes and has dinner with her mother. My husband says we have to see his mother on mother's day and, while he's annoyed that she is only available to see us for lunch, says we will have to plan the day around her availability. She does not want to go to the restaurant that I want to go to, and we can't go to that restaurant for dinner because of the baby's bedtime.
Maybe I'm being selfish but I feel like this is my first mother's day and we should do what I want and everyone else can suck it up. My husband thinks I need to compromise and that we can have a perfectly nice lunch that celebrates both me and his mom somewhere that we both like. My mom is upset that no version of our mother's day plans involve her.
I finally broke down and told everyone that I will be going to my favorite restaurant with the baby and that they can all go do whatever they want. Everyone is calling me selfish and overdramatic. AITA?
Let's find out.
throwaway7 writes:
Good for you! NTA and you’re not selfish. I’m honestly shocked that your mother and your MIL aren’t more understanding. Also, congrats on becoming a mom! Enjoy your first Mother’s Day, dont let them bring you down! You deserve it!
firefly writes:
NTA and stick to your guns, OP. My monster in law refused to so much as wish me a happy Mother’s Day for years and made every single one about her. Set the precedent now and stick to your guns. If they want to participate in your mother’s day, they can come to you (if you like) and do what you want to do.
pilotC writes:
This is absolutely the right answer. On Mothers Day I let me wife make the call. If she wants to spend it at her parents house, then that’s her call. On Father’s Day, I’m not going to my in-laws house. It’s really the only day I get in the whole year.
This year, though, everybody (besides me) decided that there would be a “family” Mother’s Day on the Saturday before, so really my wife gets control of the whole weekend. I won’t be surprised if that happens for Father’s Day, too, which basically just cancels it all out..