'An open letter to the rudest Matron of Honor I’ve personally encountered at a family wedding.'

"An open letter to the rudest Matron of Honor I’ve personally encountered at a family wedding..."

Dear Bride’s Matron of Honor,

I’m sorry if our family home didn’t meet your expectations of what a “wedding venue” should be. You see, this wasn’t a venue. It was the house where my parents still live, my cousins and I have celebrated milestones, where my kids grew up...

...where my brother still comes on Sundays to do his laundry and have a home-cooked meal, where my grandkids now play, and where four generations gather for holidays, laughter, and loss for over three decades.

It is where we watched the sun set behind a 40-foot tall, 250-foot wide cedar treeline through every season of life. The couple chose this space because it is sacred to the groom, our cousin. Not because it came with a ballroom package and a concierge.

I’m sorry if the decorations looked “homemade.” That’s because they were. Our cousins burned their fingers on hot glue guns, stained their shirts with paint, bent over tables, and stood on ladders until their backs ached… all because they love the couple. The porch you stood on?

Repainted by family to match the wedding’s colors. The garden you dismissed? Hand-weeded and watered daily by my 71-year-old mother. The acre of land you stood upon? Mowed faithfully every two weeks by my nearly 80-year-old father… and an extra time just for the wedding.

I’m sorry if the food wasn’t plated like a banquet. That’s because it was cooked in our kitchens, seasoned with family recipes, and served with care. I’m sorry if the air conditioning struggled, or if the bathrooms were too few, or if the mosquitoes did not respect your presence. This is Texas in September; even the dragonflies refuse to be managed. We stretched a home built for five to host one hundred… and did so gladly.

And yes, the DJ played a few boleros and cumbias, despite your protests. He wasn’t hired by you, nor was he meant to satisfy your Spotify preferences. This was a family celebration…and in our culture, music is not background noise. It is memory and inheritance. When you wrinkled your nose at it, you weren’t critiquing a playlist; you were dismissing an entire lineage of joy.

It did not go unnoticed that you arrived just in time for the bachelorette party (planned and paid for by the Mother of the Groom, my cousin), but only saw the “venue” for the first time the day before the wedding, when your contribution was not gratitude or help, but critique.

So when you argued with me about the location of the sun for the ceremony and photos, you might have done well to take a seat because I’ve been watching that light change in this yard for a lifetime of evenings, not twenty minutes. What you may not understand is that everything you found wanting was done freely, out of love, and with nothing asked in return.

We didn’t need your Yelp-style review, your grumbling about the heat, your disdain for the décor, or your endless complaints about the sun (shut up about the sun). What we did need, when we opened our doors and our hearts, was a little grace. A little gratitude. A little respect for the family who gave all they had so the bride you supposedly stood for could feel cherished and welcomed…and she did.

Our family isn’t rich in money. But we are abundant in loyalty, sacrifice, and love. We welcome newcomers with open arms. But when someone sits in my mother’s chair, beneath the trees my father still mows under each week, and treats it all as though it isn’t good enough, we notice. And trust me: we don’t forget. With compassion (and conviction), Your friend’s new family and in-laws...

P.S. Oh…and thank you kindly for walking off with every single strip of fashion tape I brought to be shared by the bridal party. Did you really need all one hundred strips? Is that what it took to hold your audacity in place all evening?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

ToughCareer4293 said:

Uff, I hope the bride is aware of her MOH’s behavior and ditches her. MOH basically dissed the bride as well; as if the bride didn’t know how her wedding was being planned and put together. The family MOH disrespected is now the bride’s family so I would like to think she will proudly stand with you all OP.

Of_MiceAndMen said:

You just described my wedding, to my husband at his family’s property. It’s been the venue for his family events for decades. I was so grateful to them but one of our guests (we still don’t know who) told the lady who was dishing food to not be stingy, and give him more.

That was my mother in law, and that was her food which people still talk about 20 years later. It still angers me when I think about it. They all came together for us. And now we come together for the younger generations. It’s very special.

AnonAttemptress said:

I’ve been to a handful of backyard weddings and plenty of glamorous-venue weddings. The backyard weddings were all so intimate & joyful. The other fancy ones were great, too, but a family coming together to celebrate a couple starting their life together is very special.

burkely101 said:

I’m sorry you had to put up with that disrespect. Hopefully she was young and will learn respect.

Dangerous_Brother_85 said:

Everything about this reminded me of growing up and having most of our holidays at our grandparents home where all the aunts, uncles, and cousins would converge for laughter, love, chaos and joy.

seaglassgirl04 said:

Amazingly written! MOH is ignorant and shallower than a sidewalk puddle. Your generational family home sounds beautiful!