Pregnant woman won't give up seat on bus to struggling old lady. AITA?
When this woman is conflicted about a situation on the bus, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for not giving up my seat for an elderly women on the bus?'
I (26F) am currently 5.5 months pregnant. Even though I'm in my second trimester, I don't look very pregnant. Additionally, I wear baggy clothes so it would be tough to see my bump either way. In terms of 'fitness' and health, I'm really active but recently I've been struggling with fatigue from the pregnancy. After a full day of work (I'm a uni lecturer) on my feet, I'm exhausted.
Today I was on the bus headed home from work and most of the seats were taken. I decided to sit in the seats reserved for those who need it (ie. disabled, elderly, pregnant, w/ children). I usually don't do this unless I absolutely have to, like today.
I was minding my business while listening to my podcast when this older lady (I'd guess late 60's early 70's) tapped me on the shoulder. I removed my headphones and asked how I could help her. She said to me that it's rude of me to sit in these seats and asked if I could stand instead. The way in which she said this was pretty rude.
I'm a shy person and hate conflict so I was a bit taken aback by her attitude. As I began to try to explain to her how I'm pregnant, another passenger came over and repeated the sentiment of the older lady. Once they stopped talking I managed to quickly say; 'Actually I'm pregnant' to which the older lady scoffed.
She said I couldn't possibly be pregnant and told me to give her the seat. I refused to move and explained to her I needed the seat as much as she did. At this statement, she lost her sh*t at me. By this point we had reached the next stop and the bus conductor came to see what the yelling was about. The older lady told him what was happening and he looked at me and said; 'Are you really pregnant?' to which I obviously said yes.
He then said to the lady that there was a free seat near the front that she could have, which she begrudgingly agreed to take. The other passenger then said to me that even if I am pregnant, I should always give up a seat to an elderly person as they actually need it more. After this, I actually felt pretty guilty. Maybe she did actually need it more than me but how can you tell? So, AITA for not giving up my seat to an elderly women on the bus?
Let's find out.
idontexit8 writes:
No one can tell if someone's else is pregnant, disabled/disadvantaged, injured, or sick. These conditions aren't always prevalent, and it's no one's place to judge just because they can't visually confirm what someone else is going through. Until we are legally required to wear our differences on labeled sleeves and carry proof for validation, people need to stfu and mind their own business.
I would say that an elderly person should give up their seat for a younger person suffering an embolism or myasthenia. They aren't visible conditions but definitely warrant a seat above an otherwise healthy older individual.
The fact that there was yelling and a few potential open seats available put this entitled older woman in the wrong. Any other healthy person in viewing/ listening reach that was sitting could have just as easily given up their seat as well. NTA. At all.
thaliagorgon writes:
Definitely NTA and the other passenger who told you the elderly person needed it more can huff my duff. If the elderly person falls they could get hurt, if the pregnant person falls that person AND their baby could get hurt, plush the have zero idea what the limits and physical condition of either of you could be. I’m not as shy and would have lifted my shirt to show them the full on baby belly and told them to go to hell.
naraic writes:
NTA. I know someone who fell badly while standing on a bus and several months pregnant. Miscarried. Swollen ankles and pregnancy can fuck with balance in a bad way. You mightnt notice it normally but while standing on mass transit. Oh boy. There was other seats available. NTA.