"Sister-in-law 'outs' pregnant bride on her wedding day..."
BFF marries a great guy, with a not so great sister. Sister was never overtly awful. But not ever kind, welcoming, or friendly during the time of dating or engagement. After the wedding was planned and invites sent, couple discovers they are pregnant.
The couple was thrilled. This was only two weeks before the wedding. The SIL has 4 children, at the time between 3 and 10. They all know the bride well and saw her regularly. The bride was not showing AT ALL and had elected not to share with everyone so early.
The bride's wedding day was difficult because her sister was dying and unable to be there. SIL of course knows this. She chooses the day of the wedding to tell all her young kids that bride is pregnant and that it is wrong to get pregnant before being married. She told them all to make sure never to do what the bride did and she is a bad person. The kids of course loudly shared this with everyone at the wedding.
This was a startling moment because the bride was happy. But not ready to share the news, not ready to hear from kids she loved and still loves that she was a bad person, and totally shocked that someone could be so unkind. A few years have passed. The SIL is still awful.
For clarity: SIL is the sister of the groom who was unaware until after the fact. The sibling of the bride did in fact die soon after wedding. The bride has not shared this particular story with others for fear that people might judge the kids - who were just kids and not deliberately malicious. And, having lost her only sibling, these young kids, the cousins, would be especially important in the life of her own child.
REGARDING CHILD THEY WERE PREGNANT WITH: Bride's only sibling was dying and passed soon after wedding. They had no children. Due to heath issues/Bride and Husband it was unlikely they would have more children, making these young children (cousins) very important in the life of the then the unborn child, who btw is great now.
REGARDING KIDS: It sounds like a lot of great parents out there would be mortified of their kids spoke these words...the world needs more parents like you. The other perspective - imagine being 16, 20, 25, whatever and learning that your words...
...when you were a VERY young child and simply parroting the words of your mom were so deeply hurtful to people you really care about. THAT is the reason the bride, and her husband, at the request of the bride have kept this private.
But I can tell you- people of the internet, that you have provided a lot of comfort and understanding to someone who experienced a tremendous amount of hurt that she has held privately and didn't want the hurt to extend to young kids. Thank you for every kind word.
And, as for the bride, no hurt was greater than not having her dying sibling being by her side and watching her get married. This just amplified everything ands made it so much worse that SIL was not at all sensitive or kind.
The good news is that the sibling dearly loved the man she chose to marry! And, knowing the sibling was terminal made it better in some ways, knowing their sister was marrying someone their whole family feels was deserving of her.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Admirable-Koala-1715 said:
SIL sounds like a truly terrible person. The poor bride misses her dying sister at her wedding and SIL decides to violate her privacy, then kick her in the heart with the nonsense Patriarchy, using her children as her minions? That’s some next level villain crap.
OP responded to the above comment with:
This literally brought a tear to my eye. It was all so startling an unnerving that it was surreal, and no one knew quite how to react. The people speaking were innocent children. It would have been amazing to have someone report in real time what was happening. BTW, bride has a lot of feelings about this after the fact. But she is careful never to share with the kids because it was not their fault.
Life-Time-3979 said:
She shouldn’t have told anyone except her dying sister. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. He knows his sister better than her. Probably not the first instance just a more life changing one. Some people enjoy going out of their way to ruin others happy moments.
Oh_Wiseone said:
Honestly what is wrong with people? Someone should have spoken up and first - correct the children/and second ask SIL to leave. Everyone acts “polite and shocked” but no one is willing to face her rudeness with each force. I don’t get it. Start to take ownership of righting a bad situation.
VivianDiane said:
SIL is a massive AH for weaponizing her kids to spread hate on your wedding day, especially when she knew about your sister. That's next-level cruelty.
Mean_Parsnip said:
My cousin found out she was pregnant right before her bachelorette party (decided to check before she got wasted, as she was a bit late). She told her parents and our grandmother. Our grandmother being older and conservative asked that she wait until after the wedding to tell people.
I am not sure our grandmother imagined she would walk around the lunch served immediately after the ceremony in the basement of the church and tell everyone. I am fairly certain our grandmother was thinking weeks or days after the wedding not minutes. We all giggled, my cousin wasn't the sharpest tool in the box.