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Mom asks if she's wrong to take in adult house guest without asking teen son.

Mom asks if she's wrong to take in adult house guest without asking teen son.


When this woman is concerned about her son's classmate, he asks Reddit:

'AITA for taking in a classmate without asking my son?'

I’m (40’s f) taking classes at a community college to work towards getting an associates. I’m in 2 of the same classes as Amelia (19f). Amelia is a very sweet and smart girl but her family mistreats her. She used to make less than minimum wage working close to 60 hours per week at her dad’s business then had to pay almost everything she made in rent.

Amelia needed to get her car’s oil changed and wasn’t able to make rent because of it. She gave her parents what she had but they still kicked her out. Amelia called me and asked if she could sleep on my couch until she figures things out. I said yes and she got here a half hour later with nothing but her car, her phone, and the clothes on her back. Apparently her parents didn’t let her go in to get her clothes.

I took her shopping to get some clothes, toiletries, and whatever she needed for school. We set the guest room up for her and I told her she could stay as long as she needed. The problem is I have 3 kids. 2 girls (2 and 4) with my current husband, and a son (16) with my ex. The girls love Amelia and she’s a great help with them. My son does not like having another person in the house.

He doesn’t speak to her except to ask if she got a job yet or when she’s leaving. He also does things like, when it’s his turn to take out all of the trash in the house, he won’t get the trash from Amelia’s room or if she’s watching tv in the living room he’ll go on the app and change the channel either to what he wants to watch or he’ll change it every few minutes to annoy her.

I’ve talked to him about his behavior and I’ve tried to punish him but every time I’ve tried he’s gone back to his dad. I tried to talk to his dad about this but he says that this is my fault because I didn’t ask my son before taking Amelia in. AITA for not asking him? AITA?

Let's find out.

manifest9 writes:

NTA you don't need to ask your son for permission to help someone, maybe put a password on the app or whatever so he can't just change the channel like that.

You also need to sit both your ex husband and son down and talk to them about being civil towards others and about accepting the consequences to their actions and how your ex husband needs to stop letting your son get away with shitty behaviour. Which would include running away to daddy anytime he gets punished over at your house.

ethanpoe writes:

ESH. You really should have had a conversation with your family before a stranger showed up to sleep on the couch and intrude in their lives and person spaces. you've got six people living in this house now. Parents all too often treat their children like they're not allowed to even have an opinion on major things going on in their lives, and that's going to be expressed as resentment.

Your son's behavior though is not acceptable, and your ex is both enabling his bad behavior and undermining your authority as a parent by letting your son flee punishment by going to his fathers house. All of this is pretty predictable though, and you really should have given thought to the other people in your house before you volunteered for the open ended couch guest.

misgym67 writes:

Slight YTA, I don't think you needed to ask your son beforehand, but you needed to discuss it with him. this is his home and you changed it suddenly. there should be conversations that include parameters of the change.

Have you even discussed the parameters of her living situation with him? how long will she be there? what are her chores? has she misplaced him in any way? are you giving her attention that he would normally get?

this poor kid has a stranger living in his home and he knows nothing about the situation including when it will end? do you frequently take the side of others over his?

Well, is this mom an AH? What do YOU think?

Sources: Reddit
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