'AITA for wanting to move into the house I inherited instead of staying with my in-laws?'
"AITA for wanting to move into the house I inherited instead of staying with my in-laws?"
I (F29) am married to R (31M). Where we live it is tradition for bride to move in with the groom and his parents until we have our first child. Now one of the problems with living with my in-laws is that my MIL is so unbearable. She gets annoyed at the smallest things possible.
And then we have to wait for my SIL (F22) to get married so we can start having children as there isn't enough space (she’s getting married by the end of this year). And if we want more than one kid (which we do) we also have to wait for my in-laws to die because the house is that small.
Yes I knew all these before getting married but my husband assured me he won’t let his parents impose that on me. If we both agree he can talk to his parents and we move out but now he’s having cold feet. I mean if your parents are hell bent on following "traditions" maybe they should provide at least a comfortable accommodation.
You need to understand I’m not just asking to move out to inconvenience or put more responsibility on my husband, when my uncle who raised me passed away he left his house to me as he had no kids. I was closer to him than my parents. That house is big, closer to our workplaces, it's 5 minute walk to local school, and the most importantly, it's OURS.
So I want to move there. All of a sudden my husband thinks it’s a horrible idea even after we talk about all of this before now. I know he’s being pressured by his parents (doesn’t make it better) and he’s always the trophy child but I want kids and can’t have them soon if we stay with his parents. Whole thing is causing a rift in the family and I feel like the ahole.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
TheRoadkillRapunzel said:
NTA. Move into your house. Tell your husband he can join you or keep hanging onto mommy’s skirt. Seriously, this would prompt divorce talk from me if my husband tried to pull that on me.
2cents0fucks said:
NTA. "You promised me going in this wouldn't be a problem, and now you're changing the deal after the fact. Either get your shit together, or we split, because this is not how I want to spend my life, and I made that very clear before we got married."
MistySky1999 said:
It's your house! Tell your husband YOU are moving, and he is welcome to join you. I simply don't understand, "tradition" or not, why you are choosing to stay in overcrowded and unenjoyable conditions when you have an alternative available that is better in every way? Why does your husband care more about being a trophy for his parents than having a happy wife? NTA.
barbannie1984 said:
They will be wanting your husband to sell your asset it and the money to go to his family.
Classic_Ad3987 said:
Move. With or without your husband. He and his parents are expecting you to put your life on hold indefinitely. Can't have kids until sister gets married and moved out. Can't go on holiday because *you* have to take care of his parents.
Can't decorate until they both die. Can't live your life without his permission. Move. Tell your husband he needs to make decisions that are the best for the 2 of you, not what his mummy says. Either he grows up and moves out with you or you leave him behind.
Discount_Mithral said:
NTA. He agreed to things to trap you in this marriage from the sounds of it. Maybe you should move into that house by yourself and tell him he can either follow you and you can start the family you wanted, or he can stay living with his parents and you can get divorced so you can find someone who isn't still hanging on to their mother's apron strings.
Mrs_Jones_85 said:
You can always just move there yourself. Hubby can come if he's able to cut the cord. If not, then find a new husband who's surgically attached to Mommy. NTA.
BlondDee1970 said:
NTA. My bags would already be packed! It's ridiculous not to use a house that you inherited.