Woman is accused of 'ruining' friend's wedding for wearing 'alternative' outfit. AITA?
When this woman feels embarrassed at her friend's wedding, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for 'ruining' my friend's wedding by wearing an 'attention wh*re' outfit?'
I (23F) and my husband (24M) were invited to one of my close friends wedding. This friend and I were besties since high school and I'm incredibly grateful for her friendship. It was a destination wedding that took place in Italy.
My friend had initially asked me to be a bridesmaid but I had to turn it down because most of the wedding planning and other important events were going to be in Italy and because I'm a resident doctor, I wouldn't be able to make the commitment.
My friend added me to a group chat of her and her bridesmaids though so I could see the updates and join in for any event that I was free for. I still didn't think it would be nice for me to just go without having put in any of what should've been my share of responsibilities so I never went for any of the events.
When my friend sent the invites she mentioned a dress code for us guests. It was 'Full black, anything but dresses for women and full black business casual for men.' The only wedding appropriate outfit I had was straight leg full length satin pants and a leather corset top. I asked my friend (along with a picture of the fit) if it was ok to wear that and if she felt uncomfortable with it, I'd get something else immediately.
My friend said 'It looks gorg and quite frankly m/n I couldn't care less if you turned up butt naked as long as you came to the wedding. Please don't fret about the outfit too much. I miss you and just really wish for you to be there.'
I got the bride's approval so that is what I wore to the wedding. My husband wore a turtleneck, blazer and jeans (all black). The wedding went beautifully, and my friend and I reconnected after a long time and all I felt was happiness for her and how much I was going to miss her.
Then out of the blue, one cousin of the bride (26?M) came to me and said that my outfit was inappropriate and that I was ruining the wedding. One of the bridesmaids came and in a very huffy tone agreed with him. I explained to them that I had gotten the bride's approval so I didn't see the problem and that there were other women dressed in dresses which broke the dress code so I didn't see why they were only coming for me.
They replied with a 'yeah but the bride is spending more time with you than them so you're really ruining it with your attention wh*re outfit. All the wedding photos are going to look so out of place because of you'.
My husband tried defending me but they were adamant on blaming me so I just borrowed my husband's blazer and wore it for the rest of the evening. It didn't feel right to ask the bride about this so I just left it but I need to know if I'm TA.
Let's find out.
yousaywatnow writes:
NTA because you checked with your friend, the BRIDE and she didn't just say yes she was totally utterly happy for you to attend wearing that outfit. That other members of her family or wedding party are busybody prudes is not your problem. I'm sad you felt the need to cover up though I understand why you wouldn't want to get the bride involved. 1000% NTA.
pointdefiant writes:
NTA. All things considered I think out of all of the ones involved you seem to be the most considerate. Not only did you get your friends approval but didn't bring her into the problem. I think they were just creating problems where there weren't any (why... Maybe they were bored? Stressed? Who even knows people are weird).
ladydeath8 writes:
NTA it had nothing to do with your outfit they just used that as an excuse they were mad that you and the bride are closer then they are and decided to have a b*tch, I understand your discomfort but you should have continued as you were because it's none of their business, you cleared it with the bride so they can bugger off with their jealousy.