Woman attends birth of ex-husband's child; causes scene at hospital. AITA?
When this woman feels like she may have rocked the boat for attending the birth of her ex's child, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for attending the birth of my ex/bf child?"
This is complicated, I apologize in advance. I 32f was married to my “boyfriend” for several years. We dated through highschool, and married in college. Have 3 children together. We divorced about 4 years ago.
During this time he had a few girlfriends, including his most recent he got pregnant. They split up during the pregnancy, due to her toxic ways.
A month or so after the breakup, it was our daughters birthday, which he attended. We talked a lot and decided to reconcile our marriage. There has been talk from time to time the past 4 years, but we really decided to make an effort this time.
Obviously his baby's mother wasn’t very happy about this, and although I had many confusing emotions about her pregnancy I was supportive of my husband through it all. Last week we got a call in the middle of the night saying his ex was being taken to hospital for emergency c-section, and she was having medical complications.
My husband was an emotional mess, we rushed to the hospital. They wouldn’t allow him back, since we got there too late and due to the severity of the situation. We waited patiently, until allowed back to her room, in which I was already getting dirty looks from relatives there.
The baby was brought back first, then her, which she was very doped up. I sat there for awhile silently, respectfully while my husband held his child, and tried to make small chit chat with his ex. Everything went smooth, we stayed for a few hours, before we had to head back due to the kids and work.
The next day we planned to visit again, but my husbands ex called my husband screaming I had no right to be there, and if she wasn’t so loopy/medicated from the birth she wouldve have security take me out. My husband tried to explain that I came for support, but she hung up on him.
Then I began getting angry text from her saying I have no right, and she didn’t want to see me at the hospital again. I said I only came to support my partner, and that I didn’t want any drama.
She said I wanted the drama the minute I stole her baby father. I told her I didn’t steal no one, I had a life 10+ years with him, and 3 kids. That I came to make sure her and the baby were okay.
She then called me a nosy b*&ch, and said if I stepped foot in her hospital room again she’d have me removed. I came honestly for my partner. I didn’t want any drama. It was for support. Aita?
Let's see what internet users had to say.
speakerdelicious98 writes:
You know YTA. There's no way on earth you didn't know showing up at the hospital would cause huge drama.
carelessleague87 writes:
YTA. Honestly I can respect that you wanted to support your husband, but the reality is that when someone gives birth they set the rules. Period. There are no exceptions to that. Not even for the father of the baby. Hell even if the person whose giving birth decides that they don't want the father in the hospital room, that is their right.
For you to decide you have the right to invade someone's birthing space is the ultimate level of entitlement. Especially after they have had such a horrifically traumatic birthing experience.
The fact is that you should not have been anywhere near that room for any reason. You forcing your way in there, because it's your partner's baby is inexcusable. Do not go back to the hospital. That is not your baby, it is their baby, and you being his wife means absolutely nothing in that equation.
benyrudin writes:
YTA, even if you drove him there you should have waited somewhere else or driven back and gone and picked him up again later.