Woman BF's threatens to call the police when she leaves used pad on bathroom sink.
When this woman can't tell how offensive her hygiene is, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for leaving a used pad on the bathroom sink?'
I (19F) had a situation with my partner (29M) and I'm wondering if I'm the AH here. Here's what happened. I had a busy day and plans to go to a friend's place for dinner and then attend an evening class. I messaged my partner to see what the plan was, and he asked me to meet him at his friend's place, also requesting that I stop by the shops on the way.
In a rush to get ready, I changed my pad to a tampon and left the used pad on the sink as I grabbed my tampon. This was the first time I left it out in the open. I forgot about it when I fed the dog before leaving. It's important to note that the pad wasn't full, just had a small amount of blood.
After dinner and class, I returned home and realized the pad was still on the sink. I felt terrible, knowing it could lead to an argument. And it did. Thinking my partner was asleep, I tried to be quiet while getting ready for bed. However, he mentioned the pad and expressed disgust. He called it foul and expressed disappointment. Feeling awful, I went to another room and cried, not wanting to disturb him.
Later, I went back to him seeking comfort, but he responded coldly, saying I should feel bad and what if someone else saw it. I admitted my mistake and said I was glad it was him who found it, but I didn't understand his extreme reaction when he does gross things to me. I usually joke about it to avoid arguments.
He accused me of making excuses, ended the conversation, and decided to sleep on the couch. Upset, I went for a drive but quickly returned. I tried talking to him, but he told me to 'f&%$ off' and leave him alone. I packed my stuff to go to my mom's, expressing disappointment in how he handled it. He responded negatively, calling me disgusting.
I confronted him about his gross behaviors towards me (His gross behaviours are peeing on me as high as my shoulder in the shower when im not looking and wiping his boogers on me on my skin all the time.), but he told me to 'f&&% off' again, shut the door, and threatened to call the police to kick me out.
Eventually, I ended up sitting on the floor while he played videos on his phone. I messaged him, on the phone and after a conversation I was allowed back in the room after he fell asleep I ended up going to my mums. So am I the AH?
Let's see what internet users had to say.
accountantjen writes:
ESH. There is no reason that a used disposable menstrual product should be anywhere but in place on the body, or in the trash. It is disgusting and unsanitary. Part of being an adult female is handling those products responsibly and respectfully.
It is not respectful to let someone walk into a bathroom and be confronted with your uterine lining laying on the sink. It's also rather childish to brush away your mistakes by saying, 'But you (insert other person's past behavior here)' It is also NOT 'important to note' the amount of blood on the pad. That is actually irrelevant.
His reaction, while understandable, was still over the top. One would think that by 29 he would have figured out how to have a low stakes disagreement and not involve cussing, locking you out of rooms, and threatening to call the police.
bam1701 writes:
NTA. You forgot something. This happened. It’s not like you make a habit of it. Then there is the double standard - your BF is allowed to be gross, but you are expected to be perfect and dainty 100% of the time. NTA... he seems abusive.You should not waste your time with a jerk like that. an honest mistake should not result in that kind of reaction.
And then his completely out of proportion reaction to it - threatening to call the police? There are more red flags in this event than there are in China. There should be no “allowed” back in your room - it’s your room also. And your his GF, not his possession.
thedrycharm writes:
ESH. His reaction was outsized. But there was no reason for your used pad to ever touch the sink counter. It goes straight from underwear into the trash.