Woman blocks entire family during miscarriage, gets called 'mentally unstable.'
When this woman is upset with her family, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for 'blocking' family during my miscarriage?'
Hi, first of. English is not my native language. In the story we have me, elder family member but not my parent (elder) , and other family members.
2ne of February my DH and I had an 8 week appointment with the OBGYN. We where hoping to see a little heartbeat and tiny human developing in my tummy. Unfortunately, the ultrasound did not show a human or heartbeat, only a little sac. The doctor informed us about the options in order to remove the sac, either with medication or a d&c. She opted to try medicine first and come back in 1 week to see if it went well and see from there.
My parent knew about the appointment and wanted to know how it went. I texted, since I was crying, and they immediately called me. Frustrated that they did not understand me due to the crying and not very supportive since they never heard of such thing as an empty sac.
They asked if I would inform my other family members, and I told them no, not now. Once it's over. They told me it was important to inform everyone so they could 'support' me and if I wouldn't do it, they would call everyone. I decided to rather inform everyone myself with the correct details and made a general message I could sent to the other members. But most of them understood I need time for myself and didn't have any answers either.
Day after appointment I inserted the medication and prepped for the worst. My parent wanted to call THE ENTIRE TIME. So I asked them to please stop calling me as I wasn't feeling like talking to anyone. They 'understood' and decided to text me instead. I have no problem communicating, or being open about certain things.
But they took it a bit far for me by asking very detailed and personal questions. Like: are you bleeding yet? Are you bleeding hard? Can you see any pieces or details in your blood? Are you still bleeding? When will it stop? ' all these questions where asked on the day I was going trough this process of medication.
I asked them to please, stop asking these questions. I know they are asked out of worry and care, but to please don't ask them and talk to me about anything other then this procedure and the details. They got very distant and replied 'ok'.
And I informed the family again trough text. This time, my other family members informed me that my parents are stressed out. Apparently I hurt them by not letting them know what's going on. They hope my mental stability returns soon. AITA?
Let's see what Redditors had to say.
meepbeepmeep writes:
NTA. Absolutely not, OP. This was your experience, not theirs. You have the right to your privacy and your elder had no right to threaten tell everyone. They also should have understood you needed your space to process and grieve, and it seems that they just wanted to push every button they could to get a reaction out of you.
I’m so sorry you had to go through this, and I wish you the best of luck for the next time. I would advise you have a chat with this family member to explain how personal this was, and to not involve them in future discussions about your reproductive health.
clumsybartender writes:
NTA caring for someone also means giving them space when needed.
You need to be able to process your feelings first before constantly being questioned about things that I can't even imagine you wanting to focus on.
(I don't think anyone would like it if they lost their baby and instead of 'hey let me know if i need to bring you anything or if you just need to talk/ramble' they get questions drilled like they were arrested by the CIA. )
I'm very sorry for your loss and I hope you get the time and space to work through it properly. Don't feel bad for blocking anyone out who doesn't respect you enough to give that!