Woman asks if she's wrong to tell dad his home security system is 'stalkery/creepy.'
When this woman feels weird about her dad, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for calling my dad a stalker creep?'
I (24F) currently live with my parents. I pay rent to them and have been actively trying to purchase a home for about a year now, but, well, there are plenty of other subreddits to discuss how that's going for people.
My brother is in college, and my parents spent this past weekend visiting him Friday through late Sunday. While they were gone, I was home watching their dog. The problem arises from these fairly new cameras my dad has set up inside and outside the house. They apparently have an app that alerts my dad when there's movement, as well as a speaker that he can talk through using the app.
The cameras can also pick up sound so he can hear if I reply. The entire weekend, my dad would yell through the speakers every time I left my room. He would be notified every time and start talking and watching me. Usually, it was to yell about aliens; I know this sounds really weird, but he started going off to me about aliens years ago and it seemed like a joke at the time, but it has gotten very old.
Other times, he would try to talk to me, but the audio isn't great and I was usually pissed he was watching me, so I rarely replied after he ignored me begging him to stop because I was uncomfortable. He has cameras all throughout the first floor, as well as in the front outside (he could watch/yell as I got in my car) and overlooking the backyard (so he distracted the dog when I was trying to get her to go poo). I kept telling him to stop watching me and that it made me uncomfortable, but he didn't stop. As a result, I barely left my room except to take care of the dog and eat one meal a day.
My dad texted me at one point over the weekend and asked 'who loves you?' I replied 'Hopefully someone who's not a stalker creep,' and he said I was mean. When my parents returned from the trip, my dad was sulking, saying I was mean for what I said. He maintains that I was mean to not talk to him through the cameras, and for telling him he was creeping me out.
My mom agrees with me that the cameras are creepy, but won't say anything to my dad. My dad says he can do what he wants in his house, I'm lucky to be able to stay here, I'm awful for not being close to him because he's going to die soon (he has said this since I was a very young kid), and other things like that. I understand that I'm lucky to be able to stay with my parents until I can get an offer accepted, and I express thanks frequently.
The things he's saying are really starting to eat at me, and I'm starting to feel like maybe I am in the wrong for feeling weird about my dad's home security measures in his own home, and therefore am an asshole for calling him a stalker creep despite everything. AITA?
Let's find out.
whatsmypassword73 writes:
NTA, but if you don’t coordinate with some friends to wear alien costumes and come into your home in the middle of the night next time they’re traveling, you aren’t living your best life. I would turn all 5e cameras away or put tape over them. I would also try my best to find that new home as soon as possible, living there sounds like a nightmare.
infinityari writes:
Your mom and your family are minimizing it. That isn't a joke because it's not funny. It could be benign but then again, its not normal. They are minimizing it because they don't want to deal with it. If he's been going to doctors for a long time he's learned not to bring up the aliens to pass as normal. This isn't normal.
aliagorgon writes:
This behavior from your dad is definitely unhealthy. The way you describe his behavior is almost beat for beat how my grandma started behaving when she was diagnosed with dementia. I’m not trying to scare you or anything and I am not a doctor but I’d definitely be concerned and talk to your mom about getting him evaluated. Or at least bringing it up to his doctor on his next visit, even great doctors don’t always see things they aren’t looking for, and behavioral symptoms are hard for doctors to notice with the limited time they spend with people. I’m sorry if this is inappropriate but I’m genuinely concerned for his health.