"AITA for being mad my fiancé wont cook for my son?"
I (29F) have been with my fiancé (34M) for over a year now and between us we have 3 kids. Two from his previous relationship and one from mine. We have been learning how to co parent but it hasn't always been easy.
For context, my fiancé LOVES to cook. It's his passion and he has always done majority of the cooking, especially dinner, ever since our first date. His two kids, (4 and 6) also love majority of the things he makes.
My son (8), however, is a very picky eater. I know its partly my fault for not knowing how to cook and for being a single mom for so many years I just used the easy way out.
Well, when I met my fiancé and saw how bad our diets were (lots of chicken nuggets and ramen). I really wanted to make it better. However, the changes have not been easy for my son. There has been a lot of complaining and nose turning at the new foods for the last year. And Its not always anything fancy, even spaghetti he refuses to eat. This is where things got frustrating.
Tonight, my fiancé was going to cook enchiladas for dinner and my son, as usual, he didn't want it and asked for nuggets. My fiance basically threw up his hands while prepping dinner and has now said that he will no longer cook for this household because he is tired of his food be snarked and pushed away. He said I have to take control of the situation.
He says I can do what I want for my son and I, but he will no longer be disrespected. I am extremely upset and all I see is red. I am icing him out for the time being. Granted, I know he doesn't have to cook for me but I have fallen in love with his food and I feel so frustrated. Am I the AH or is he right?
Let's find out.
billix88 writes:
YTA. Every 8 year old ever wants nothing but chicken nuggets, french fries, mac and cheese, etc. for dinner. Telling them 'no' is part of the whole raising a kid thing.
annalycui writes:
Op, you are damaging your kid and your relationship by not being more firm with your son. Go and talk to your fiancé and straighten things up, ask him to teach you some recipes and try those with your son. Even a simple homemade pizza might be a good starting point. Make him appreciate food!
wheyfacedsaloon writes:
I think soft YTA. No one likes to put in effort and have that effort repeatedly crapped on. Even from a kid it wears on you. It is not your partners issue to fix. I think his comment was out of frustration and not honestly not wanting to cook for you.
I think it is a mix of young children can be picky ah sometimes and also there are lots of changes going on. I can see from your comments that you are genuinely seeking help and wanting to fix this situation.
My advice Sit down and have a family meeting with you, partner and your son. Let each talk about how they are feeling. Ask why he doesn’t want to try new things. What does he like/not like. What do you and partner feel and why is eating better, healthier foods important.
Later OP came back with this edit:
EDIT: I don't just let me son be a complete uncontrolled brat to my fiancé. If he whines or gets bratty he is punished or grounded. Every meal, I hype my fiancés food, hoping he'll want to eat too and that sometimes works!
And even if he doesn't take much, I make sure he tells my fiancé thank you for cooking. And I'll make him apologize if he says something disrespectfully. I do realize my fiancé is coming into a situation he didn't create.
Checking OP's post history, you'll find the following timeline after this post:
About a month later OP posted this, "My (29F) fiancé (34M) is asking for a chance to change when I want to call it quits."
- I love this man, but I am tried of crying and feeling belittled.
- We have been struggling financially
- My fiancé has never liked my coworkers. They are not flirtatious but friendly.
- I originally was going to completely break up with him, however he is begging to give him a chance
About 3 months later OP posted, "Need your help men! Is my (29F) fiancé (34M) falling out of love with me?"
- We recently moved back to his hometown to be closer to his kids.
- He used to just walk up and kiss me but now I have to beg for a kiss.
- He'll roll over and tell me he's to tired.
- Could I be doing something wrong?
The same day OP posted, "Men, how will a girl know when you are no longer in love with them?"
A little over a month later OP posted this, "Situationship advice - I've never had a problem like this before!"
- I (29F) met my (30M) friend a couple of weeks ago and it has been amazing! He is crazy flirty, fun, and I was drawn to him from the first time I met him while at my job.
- He now even walks me to my car and gives me hugs and kisses goodbyes. He is always touching me and staring at me and I love it. (Nothing intimate besides that)
About a month later OP posted this, "How can I (29F) tell the difference if a guy wants to get to know me vs only wants to hit it and quit it?"
- I really like this guy I met while at work (I'm a bartender and he's been a customer for a few days)
- We exchanged numbers and talked about going on a date however his texts is kinda only about one thing... what comes after the date.
10 months later OP posted this, "How do I bring up marriage without sounding crazy?"
- I (30f) met my bf (33m) about 6 months ago and everything has been going amazing.
- I feel like I fall for him more each time I'm with him.