Woman makes friend cry about her surgery, says, 'you criticized my body first.'
When this friend humiliates her friend at the beach, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for calling out my friend for having plastic surgery done (making her cry) when she tried to lecture me about my skin at the beach?'
This happened on Saturday, my friends and I were at the beach in total it was five of us. I should add that I am the only Black girl in the friend group, everyone else is White except one of my friends who is mixed Asian and White.
The sun was particularly strong and while we all put on sun screen I wanted to get a beach umbrella before going on the beach. We were going to be there all day and I said I didn't want to get too dark and in general sunscreen only does so much.
Cindy then starts lecturing me on how I need to accept my own skin that there is no such thing as 'too dark.' That being Black is beautiful and that I should love myself. It just really rubbed me the wrong way because it was like she was talking down to me as if I am some stupid kid. I am perfectly fine with my skin, but no I don't want to roast in the sun.
So I tell Cindy, that it's really rich coming from you. Aren't you the same one that is dying to get a tan? Why don't you love your White skin? Or why can't you just love your own lips? Why did you get lip fillers? Why do you want to get veneers? Aren't you happy with the way god made you?
I didn't realize but some of our friends didn't know about the extensive plastic surgery Cindy has gotten and she actually just told people she looked like that naturally. I know I should have stopped earlier, but I just hate when people talk down to me as if I am not 24, and can make my own decisions.
I don't know, I know it was an asshole thing but at the same time, I don't know why she talked down to me the way she did if it wasn't to belittle me. AITA?
Let's find out.
nothank86 writes:
Also OP, I think NTA because you didn’t knowingly tell a secret, you thought you were saying something that was common knowledge. It wasn’t great, because of the effect it had, but that seems more miscommunication than assholery.
As it’s own thing, apologizing for accidentally outing her surgeries is a totally reasonable and good thing to do AND ALSO doesn’t mean you have to pretend that her comments were in any way ok.
Like, regardless, a non-black person thinking it’s ok to tell a black person how to be black is just as racist whether it’s framed as a compliment or framed as an insult, and hurt white feelings isn’t an excuse for bad white behaviour no matter how much people try to make it be.
irishtemper0 writes:
NTA. Not wanting sun damaged skin or skin cancer is not the same thing as not accepting your skin color and she was being an AH to lecture you about a non-issue. Not to mention hypocritical, as you pointed out.
I don't think you were the AH in this situation even if you did inadvertently reveal her secret cosmetic procedures to your friend group. That's the risk she takes lying about her looks and trying to call you out for taking care of your skin.
sciencegirl8 writes:
It's the condescension that's the problem, as if OP is ashamed of her skin and needs to be lectured, by a WHITE WOMAN (I'm a white woman) on how she wants her own skin to look.
She doesn't get to decide how OP feels (she said nothing about being ashamed) nor how she feels most comfortable sitting in the sun. OP gave a reason, although she didn't have to, and the idiot twisted in into being ashamed of being black because, you know, the white woman knows how OP feels, better than OP knows herself.