Woman furious with obese cousin when she edits her body to look 'huge' in fam pic.
When this woman is furious with her cousin, she asks Reddit:
'AITA For getting upset with my morbidly obese cousin for editing a pic of me?'
I (18f) recently went to a family gathering that my parents were in charge of. They had food, drinks, and games. I’ll call the cousin in question Annie. Annie (28f) is morbidly obese, we never talk about weight or anything like that in our family. I respect and love her and don’t have a problem with her weight.
At the party she wanted to take a bunch of pictures with people. She got this one really cute picture of me and her and asked if she could post it. I said of course and the rest of the party went without incident. The next morning when I checked Instagram I was horrified to see that she had SEVERELY edited the picture.
She made me look like I was about 200 lbs heavier than I am. Fitness and health is super important to me, I exercise daily and eat really well. I have no problem with her size or anything, but I don’t want her to make me look the same as her especially since she is friends with like all of my friends and family.
She posted about three pics: one with me and her (the edited one), one with her husband, and one of just her. Anyways I called her and asked why she edited the picture. She explained that she was trying to promote body positivity and show that it’s ok to be plus sized. I said okay fine, but you didn’t get my permission. Also, isn’t that kind of portraying that my body isn’t okay??
She got really upset and refused to take down the photo. She then started ranting and said I don’t understand what it’s like to be fat and life is just so easy for me. I was very upset by this and argued that no, I work hard for my body. She got really mad and hung up. I talked to the rest of my family about it and my parents and siblings were totally on my side.
But, my other cousin (30f) called me and screamed at me that Annie has always struggled with weight and food comforts her and I am such a jerk. She then was saying she would make sure the photo never got taken down??? I thought I was right but now I kinda feel bad. I didn’t mean to bring up weight issues and I didn’t say it was easy being Annie. I just didn’t want that photo of me out there. Am I in the wrong?
Let's see what internet users had to say.
aspiepsycho writes:
NTA. Sounds like she just didn't want to be the biggest person in the photo (especially with her response to you working hard on your own Body). I'm sure weight can be a sore subject for morbidly obese people, but that doesn't mean she has the right to act like this.
And just because you're thinner, it definitely doesn't mean that your life is 'just so easy' And isn't body positivity about feeling good in the skin you're in? Why would she use that to justify her editing your body to look like hers?
maxbluebell writes:
NTA!! Annie sounds like she’s got some serious issues she needs to work through. I’m morbidly obese myself, and I would NEVER edit the photo of someone thinner than me to “promote body positivity”. Body positivity is not just about fat acceptance, and that’s what a lot of obese people need to realize. Body positivity is about loving your body AS IS, not 200 lbs lighter, and certainly not 200 lbs heavier.
I get where Annie’s coming from. Being heavy sucks. In an ideal world, I would weigh about 90 lbs less, but I have medical conditions that literally prevent me from losing weight and cause me to gain when I haven’t done anything to warrant gaining.
I hate looking at myself in the mirror some days, and when my fiancé holds my belly or love handles and tells me how much he loves my “soft, squishy body”, it makes me want to curl up under a blanket and hide because I hate when my fat is pointed out like that, even if he’s only trying to make me feel better about myself.
But you know what? None of those issues means that I get to tear down the people around me to bring their confidence to my low level. I’ve got friends of all weights. I’ve got friends that are chubby like me, I’ve got friends who are model thin, I’ve got friends who are too thin due to their crazy metabolisms, I’ve got friends who are perfectly average… and guess what? They are ALL BEAUTIFUL just as they are!! THAT is what body positivity is.
All bodies are good bodies, just as they are!! OP, you are gorgeous just as you are. You’d still be gorgeous if you lost or gained weight. But you, right in this moment? That’s the you that you should love!! You should love yourself as-is, no matter what weight you are. Annie sounds like she needs a reality check.
aznegative writes:
NTA - big NTA - and the body positivity movement is awful. I'm fat and I think the body positivity movement is bullshit. It's just unhealthy people trying to force everyone else to NOT tell them they're unhealthy. I'm sorry. being overweight isn't beautiful, and it's not healthy.
This is coming from someone very very overweight. I think the movement started in a good place. with people who weren't particularly fat... maybe just a bit chunky saying that model thin people were unrealistic... sure, I can go with that idea. I've seen some very beautiful size 10-12 women... they're not traditionally thin... but I think they can be quite attractive with a little curves on them, just as i've seen some guys with a little extra padding not looking too bad.
But that's been warped to people morbidly obese claiming they're beautiful and 'healthy' or whatever... and anyone telling them otherwise is fat phobic. It's just bonkers right now.