Woman makes coworker miss kid's recital to go on solo picnic. AITA? Staff says yes.
When this woman feels conflicted at her job, she asks Reddit:
Plus, OP provides some fascinating updates later on in the post.
'AITA for telling my coworker that my solo picnic is as important as her daughter's recital?'
I(29F) started working at a new company 8 months ago. I was head hunted specifically for the role I have, which gave me enough power to negotiate my contract like I wanted. One of the things I managed to get was a clause that prohibited my employer from contacting me outside work hours.
If it is a true emergency, then they can send me an email. Otherwise they can't even send me a text.Furthermore, I have a separate work phone that I shut down at 5 on the dot, then turn on at 9am. Another thing is that I don't work OT. I am very efficient, so my work is done by 3pm, 5pm if we have an emergency. I also take my whole lunch break outside the office, and my coffee breaks away from my desk.
My coworkers are not the same, they tend to socialize during work hour, and have work left for afterwards. They sometimes ask me to 'help', but I always decline by saying that I have plans. I don't go into details, I just say that I have plans. These plans are 99% of the time just include going home, reading books, or sleeping. But that is my personal time.
Monday, a coworker asked me if I could stay a bit later to help her out, apparently she was late with some essential work, but had to be done by that night, because she had to attend her daughter's recital at 6. I said that I was sorry, but that I had plans. It was a nice day, so instead of going home, I just went to a park to read while breathing some fresh air. Brought some fruit and bubble tea, and made a picnic out of it.
My coworker found me there, and she was pissed. She said that I could have helped her if I didn't have plans, I said that I do have plans, this impromptu picnic. She said that it wasn't as important as her daughter's recital. So I said that for me, it was even more important than her daughter's recital. She called me an AH, and some of my friends agree. So AITA?
Let's find out.
mammothpiglet writes:
YTA for being completely inflexible and you are setting yourself up for failure, no matter how successful you are right now. You have a king-of-the-hill mentality, and you are looking down on everyone else.
The day will come when even you need help. Maybe you will get sick or have a family emergency. Maybe the company you work for will be sold or go out of business and you will need recommendations for your next job. Who will help you when you have shown you don't care about anyone but yourself?
majorbarnacle writes:
I mean...you're living 10000% in the black and white definition of your job responsibilities. If you're asking if you are wrong for refusing to change your boundaries, you're NTA. If you're asking if I would like working with you - also probably no, but I don't think that will keep you up at night.
mathprofegeneva writes:
Why does that make her an asshole? What makes her free time less valuable? I hate this crap so much. Everyone's personal time is equally valuable. She doesn't need to justify why she wants her time. It's her free time, nobody else is entitled to it, and nobody should make her feel bad for keeping it for herself.
Let's take a look at OP's responses to the comments.
How did she find me in the park? The park is small, near her daughter's school (I didn't know that), and I was sitting closer to the street. She was driving by looking for parking when she spotted me, and decided to confront me. I guess she wasn't that late for the recital.
We are not on the same team. She asked for help because she knew I know how to do her tasks, not because we are on the same team working the same project.
For people who are worried about my career, thank you, but don't worry. I am not planning to climb the corporate ladder. All I want is a job that pays enough to live a comfortable middle class life.
I invested in a bit of a niche/rare skillset, and it paid me back with a 6 figure salary and being very sought after. All I have to do is to maintain my skillset and keep up with the times, and I will be golden. I have had offers from all around my state, and a few more.
For those who say that I am a miserable loner, I have a very fulfilling personal life, with a tight knit family, and a great friend circle. I just prefer to not mix work and personal life, and that means no befriending coworkers. Made that mistake early on, but I learned from it. And lastly, for those saying an impromptu picnic is not 'plans', enjoying my personal time is and has always been my plans.