Woman aggressively objects to future SIL's use of family wedding veil. AITA?
When this woman is weirded out and offended by her SIL, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for objecting to future SIL’s use of family wedding veil?'
My younger brother “James” is getting married to “Lisa”, and they are planning on having some unconventional aspects to their ceremony, like Lisa wearing a wedding dress with a black pattern. She expressed to me that she wants to wear a wedding veil that my great-grandmother wore and so has every woman on my side of family since (including me) for their wedding.
Lisa said she wanted to wear something from James’ side because she’s not really close to her own immediate family. I was initially delighted to hear she wanted to, but then Lisa said that she plans on permanently shortening the veil because that would feel more like “her” and feel like it’s a joint union of her background and James’.
I got really upset because not only is it completely defacing the veil to me, but it essentially ruins the veil for anyone else, like my young daughter who I want to have the veil on her future wedding day. Lisa told me that’s it’s selfish to not allow her to do this “one small thing” and stormed out—I got a text from James calling me an asshole for getting her upset over a small thing. AITA??
Let's find out.
metalheadsrock8 writes:
NTA — “something small” that permanently changes the family heirloom. What do the other women in the family think? I would never ever think it’s okay to “borrow” something and basically destroy it. She’s very entitled. I hope the veil is kept in a safe place!
enitscrowds writes:
NTA. I would feel the same way if it was your actual sister, not just your brother’s fiancé. She’s talking about permanently changing a borrowed heirloom in a way that suits her own taste, with no regard for anyone else.
ninaculotta writes:
Especially a probably-hundred-year-old veil! If you were very gentle and very careful and it has any kind of gathers or ornaments at the crown you might be able to fold the length of the veil under and use tiny loose tacking stitches underneath to tuck it up temporarily.
I wouldn't hesitate to do that with my mom's 1980s veil, but that's a pretty robust nylontastic sucker, and it would take a better seamstress than me to risk touching an antique veil with a needle.