When this bridesmaid hates her dress, she asks Reddit:
AITA For refusing to buy a bridesmaid dress? I was invited to be a bridesmaid for a friend's wedding. She's a very close friend and has known me since childhood and I was happy to be her bridesmaid. She had also chosen one of her work colleagues to be the maid of honor.
Problems started to arise when the bride took us to go pick out the dresses. She wanted orange and purple dresses that cost about 250 dollars. The dress was very ugly and I tried to talk her into changing the dress colors but she believed it matched the theme of the wedding which, it did not. She had her heart set on it so I tried to let it go, but I couldn't.
All the bridesmaids for the wedding and the maid of honor were planning a surprise for the bride, so we had created a group chat for it without the bride of course. I brought up my problem with the dress-up in the group chat and it was received well by most.
Many of the women said they didn't like the dress choice but it made the bride happy so they didn't want to say anything. The maid of honor however was angry that I was trying to talk about this behind the bride's back and when I suggested bringing the dress problem up to the bride, She said I should back off.
We were going to buy the dresses in 2 days and I surely am not wearing that so I brought this up to the bride and she wasn't happy, She asked me to just wear it for her special day, but I'm not spending over 250 dollars on a repulsive dress I might as well wear once and then throw away. The wedding is in two weeks and the bride hasn't spoken to me since then. so AITA?????
YTA. Spending way too much money on a hideous dress you'll only wear once is kind of the cornerstone of being a bridesmaid. If you truly have an issue with it you should have backed out of the wedding party when you saw she was excited for what sounds like a monstrosity of a dress instead of waiting 2 days before purchase and trying to mutiny.
ESH. The bride sucks for wanting you to buy the dress yourself. You suck for agreeing to be a bridesmaid, knowing you have to buy the dress, and then talking about the bride behind her back. Either buy the dress or don’t be in the wedding.
Part of being a bridesmaid is sucking it up when it comes to the bride's choice of outfits for her bridal party. You've done your best to change her mind and it hasn't worked. Either accept the dress (and pay for it - that's fairly standard) or respectfully tell her that you're unable to be a bridesmaid (don't be surprised if this permanently damages your relationship with her).