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Woman refuses to pay for in-laws to go on vacation. Partner calls her selfish.

Woman refuses to pay for in-laws to go on vacation. Partner calls her selfish.


When this woman is annoyed with her ex, she asks Reddit:

'AITA for refusing to pay for my in laws to come on vacation with me?'

I have been with my partner for four years. He has two kids with his ex wife. I have no kids and don’t plan to. Our household income is ok, he earns the majority of it. He earns 65% of the total income. The last four years, he has insisted that we pay 50/50 into household bills despite the fact he earns far more than what I earn AND his kids stay with us regularly. I pay half the rent, bills and grocery which is expensive for someone on my salary.

He wants to buy a house near his ex wife so he can be closer to his kids so he says it’s important that I pick up 50% of the costs now so that allows HIM to save more of HIS money for “our” future. The money he isn’t paying into bills goes straight into his own savings account, not a joint one. He does not really acknowledge he has underpaid the bills the last four years. I’ve calculated he’s underpaid between £16k to 19k.

When he first moved in (without his kids) I picked up all the bills. I paid out over £8000 in rent and bills. He paid around £1100 towards food

Not long ago, he asked if I wanted to go away for the following weekend, I said sure and we talked about where we could go. He then went to visit his parents and later that evening he messaged me an air B&B link for a lodge by the beach to visit that weekend.

He asked if his family could come and he said he’d pay more than 50% if I agreed to them coming. I don’t have any family, plus his mom and dad have beat cancer recently I said yes to his folks and grown up brother coming and booked and paid for the AirB&B.

A few days ago, he wanted to settle the vacation bill and has offered to pay 60% of the total. I’ve kicked off stating the obvious - there were 7 people in that lodge and 6 of them were his family. My portion of that bill is 15%. Am I wrong?

Let's find out.

ency2001 writes:

I don't get it. What do you get out of this relationship? NTA but why are you even with this parasitic bully?

uharagger8 writes:

NTA but he is using you. Based on what you listed out, I would even start to say financially abusing you. Sit down and write it all out. How much over the years you have paid versus him. Then see how much money you could have saved by not being in this relationship. If you want, you can also list out the pros and cons. Be honest with yourself. You deserve to be with someone who actually wants to be an equal partner. Good luck.

snakcinpenguin writes:

NTA. Honestly on this last Airbnb, you really should be paying next to nothing. Although the plan was for you to go away together, this ended up being a trip for HIS family. 60% is laughable to make you pay 40% as one person of 7.

Sadly, I don’t see a great ending to this story. The fact that he wants YOU to move with him to a house close to his ex wife. I understand that kids will be the priority, but you are investing your money into his plans, and what’s there for you? Currently nothing.

Looks like OP is NTA! What do YOU think she should do?

Sources: Reddit
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