Woman doesn't want to attend bachelorette party of SIL she doesn't like. AITA?
When this woman feels annoyed with her SIL, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for not attending the (small) bachelorette party of my future SIL?'
My brother is getting married in 4 months. His fiancé and I got off to a rocky start (3-4 years ago) because I was still close with his ex. His fiancé never said anything but we just weren’t that close. However, once they got serious/engaged I started trying to get closer to her. We’re definitely not friends but are making an effort when we see each other, social media buddies, etc.
Her MOH is planning her bachelorette party. It is a plane ride away (2 hours and about $75 each way) and they’re fronting an Airbnb so the only cost would be the airfare and food. They asked me about two different weekends, and I said I couldn’t do the first because I’m away with my husband.
However, I realized after the chose the second weekend that my nephew’s birthday party is on that Saturday. The trip is from Friday to Monday. I could go from Sunday to Monday but wouldn’t get in until about 3pm on Sunday and the airbnb is a solid drive from the airport.
I’m super close with my nephew - his godmother and almost like a second mother. I nanny him 3 full days a week while my sister works. His birthday is important to him and I don’t feel right missing it, but I also feel badly about missing the trip. There’s only 4 bridesmaids and they changed the weekend so that I could go.
I told my brother I probably couldn’t swing it and he got angry. He said that I was already rude to his fiancé at first and now I’m skipping something that he sees as important. However, he didn’t say that SHE would be upset - just that he’s upset. So AITA if I skip a bachelorette and upset my brother in the process? AITA if I don’t go to a bachelorette party as the bridesmaid?
Let's find out.
destinascorpi writes:
Ew... destination bachelorette trip for someone you're not friends with.. and it eats a whole weekend plus TWO workdays! The only destination trip with a wedding should be the honeymoon. Your nephew's more important you actually like him, skip the party. NTA
dragonfirelettuce writes:
YTA - sounds like you really don't want to go to the bachelorette party and are making excuses. You're nephew will have many more birthdays. Your future SIL will only have one bachelorette party, something she arranged to accommodate you. I can tell you're not really interested in forging a real authentic relationship with your future SIL - but be prepared to lose your relationship with your brother in the process.
bornsmoke writes:
YTA. Firstly, they went out of their way to accommodate you despite you being rude to her at the beginning and showing a clear preference for his ex. She's trying here, and you need to do the same.
Secondly, as close as you are to your nephew, he's not gonna really care or notice your absence if he's having a party with all his friends. Plus he'll have other birthdays, and it'll be even better for him if you have another celebration with him just the two of you once you're back. Two birthdays is way better than one. Your SIL will only have one bachelorette party.
Thirdly, this is clearly important to your brother and you already let him down with how you treated his spouse and being in contact with his ex, if you do this you may not be able to fully repair the relationship afterwards.