'Would I be a bridezilla if I asked my bridesmaid not to dye her hair?'

"Would I be a bridezilla if I asked my bridesmaid not to dye her hair?"

One of my bridesmaids (who I’m already considering asking to step down) has just told me she’s temporarily dying her hair pink “to match the dress!” And I’m about to lose it.

She’s been kind of on a spiral of “branching out” and this is the latest new thing she’s apparently set on. To be clear, she’s never done an unnatural color (nothing more than blonder or brown or occasionally a red) and this is all very sudden.

I typically wouldn’t tell someone to change their appearance for my wedding because it’s so so so rude but I feel like this is a step past the norm and I’m at a loss. I feel like this is the latest “pick me” moment in a long string of them.

So would I be the bridezilla if I asked her to NOT dye her hair an unnatural color for the wedding, knowing that this is something she’s never once done before?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

kittiekittykitty said:

I am firmly of the mind that you ask people to be your bridesmaid because of who they are, not their appearance, whatever that appearance may be. That said, if you were already considering asking her to step down for other reasons, you probably should just do that. I have a feeling you probably shouldn’t have asked her to be in your bridal party in the first place.

PerspectiveEven9928 said:

If you’re considering asking her to step down just d it. You’ll be happier. The pink hair it seems will become something else and that becomes something else and you’re clearly over to. I don’t blame you. I’d be over it to from the sound of it.

My husband's best man bleached his very dark brown hair himself the week of the wedding. I didn’t say a word and let it go at the time and honestly there’s a reason he’s not in any of the wedding photos we have ever displayed. He looked ridiculous.

RebaKitt3n said:

I think you’re okay if you tell her you appreciate her wanting to do this, but you’d like to look back at your photos and see the friend you know, with her regular hair. You want her in the wedding, you don’t need another decoration-just her.

mks221 said:

You would not be a bridezilla in this case. The key point is that she is dyeing her hair FOR the wedding (to match the dress), which gives you the opening to say “I appreciate the thought but honestly I’d rather you don’t.” But I think it’s time you sit down with her and ask what’s going on. Don’t let this frustration simmer any longer.

parakeet_whisperer said:

I don't feel like it's insane, I'm a bridesmaid for a friend in like 2 months, I dye my hair weird colors all the time I asked her months ago how natural she wanted my hair for her photos so I can start working towards a more natural color as we get closer and dye it back if need be.

PopEnvironmental1335 said:

You did the right thing. Dying your hair FOR the wedding is very different from having dyed hair already. Also, pink hair is hard to do at home if you have no experience.

After reading the comments, OP edited her post to include:

EDIT: I'm not asking her to change her current style, just that the grand plan she had for her wedding hair that’s explicitly FOR the wedding, to be “hilarious."

EDIT AGAIN: I just dropped her. She lost her mind. I’m glad it’s a closed chapter.