Aunt refuses to replace niece's birthday gift after she has tantrum and breaks it. AITA?
"AITA for refusing to replace my 8-year-old niece’s broken birthday present?"
My (22F) sister Alexis (30F) has a daughter Melanie (8F) whose birthday was last week. I was out of town on the actual day of her birthday but came the next day with Melanie’s present. Since my niece loves the beach and always wants to look at/touch my seashell collection, I gave her seashells so she could start her own collection.
Melanie immediately demanded more, not in a playful or joking way. Melanie didn’t even say thank you for the gift. I was taken aback by this, but still told Melanie that those shells were it for now and that she could get more seashells in the future by saving up her pocket money or waiting for Christmas. Melanie threw a tantrum. She dumped the shells on the floor and broke a large one after she stomped on it.
Alexis wasn’t doing anything to intervene in the situation. Melanie eventually calmed down and became upset when she realized she broke the large shell. Alexis asked me to replace the shell since it was Melanie’s birthday but I refused and Melanie cried. Alexis pulled me into another room and we started arguing.
Alexis told me I was being an @$$hole to my niece because my niece is 8, of course, she’s going to act like a brat sometimes, and I was no angel either when I was little. She argued how seashells are cheap where we live and it’s courtesy to replace a broken gift instead of ruining an 8-year-old’s birthday.
I agreed with Alexis that I acted up when I was little but that I stopped because I was taught right from wrong and wasn’t rewarded for bad behavior. I told Alexis that I will not reward Melanie for throwing a tantrum and that she is the one who ruined an 8-year-old’s birthday by not teaching her daughter to be more grateful. Alexis told me to leave and we’ve barely talked since last week.
But today I saw earlier today on social media that Alexis took Melanie to a crafts fair and bought her new seashells there. She posted a picture and captioned it saying “Who could be so selfish that they wouldn’t want to see her (Melanie) smile for her birthday?” and tagged only me in it. I think refusing to replace the broken shell was the appropriate thing to do in that situation.
But Alexis’ social media post has gotten a lot of likes and comments on it, and it seems a lot more people are taking Alexis’ side than mine, saying money is replaceable but memories are not and the only important thing on an 8-year-old’s birthday is to make sure they’re happy. AITA?
People had a lot of strong feelings about OP's sister.
FeedbackCreative8334 wrote:
NTA. Nothing from you could have made that child smile because she was determined to smash it up instead. Feel free to respond with a comment about how you tried your best but it wasn't good enough, and Melanie threw a tantrum and smashed the shells you gave her instead, so you'll hold off on gifts until the 8-year-old toddler and her over-entitled mommy learn some manners.
DontAskMeChit wrote:
'I told Alexis that I will not reward Melanie for throwing a tantrum and that she is the one who ruined an 8-year-old’s birthday by not teaching her daughter to be more grateful.'
This is it. Your sister is raising a monster. Do yourself a favor and don't get into the social media wars. The people siding with your sister can pay to replace broken gifts. I wouldn't give that child anything else. NTA.
nubianxess wrote:
I have a ten and thirteen year old and I would have been MORTIFIED if they had ever acted that way, let alone at eight. Your sister is raising a monster. Good for you for not giving in. NTA.
No-One-Is-Special wrote:
NTA. My daughter turned 8 yesterday; party on Saturday. Let her be ungrateful and break something out of attitude, I will build a custom shadow box for it and put it in all its broken glory on her bedroom wall so she can see it. “It’s courtesy to replace a broken gift.”
embopbopbopdoowop wrote:
Yeah, if you break it! Not when the recipient smashes it in rage, no matter their age. NTA. Not even a little bit. Remove the tag from the FB post and don’t give the reactions from people who don’t know what happened a second thought.
OP is definitely NTA, but her sister for sure is, and at this rate, her niece will grow into one.