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12 people share hilarious dating mistakes they made when they were desperate.

12 people share hilarious dating mistakes they made when they were desperate.

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Most people have bodily urges. Many people can control them and think rationally, while others simply follow their impulses. Following your impulses with reckless abandon usually leads to bad times but great internet stories.

On a popular Reddit thread in the AskReddit Subreddit, people share some hilarious stories about them following those impulses when they definitely shouldn't have.

1. aomukai says:

I ran across the street to a condom vending machine without checking. I got hit by a car and (thankfully only) broke my nose. The evening didn't end in bed with my GF.

2. Kanjiiyro says:

Around the age of 12, I had intercourse with my wall. There wasn’t a hole or anything; I was rubbing against the wall and making out with it. I’ve been stupidly horny my whole life. It’s annoying.

3. hannlouiseols says:

Let my (ex) boyfriend dry-hump me for an hour on a bench outside after summer school. The bad news: this bench behind our school was beside a swimming pool. When parents were taking their children for swim lessons, a staff member eventually came out and yelled at us for being inappropriate. I still have shame flashbacks today, over ten years later.

4. komiroku21 says:

Beat off in a doctor’s office not realizing they could see from the other room. I was 12.

5. kilorevz says:

I had a seizure and instead of calling a doctor afterwards I convinced my girlfriend that I was fine and we did it.

6. -Rai- says:

I was hospitalized for a week being on isolation. I was mostly fine. Got too horny and wanked a few off. One year later, I got a job at the place. Turns out the room I was in had a camera.

7. euesquecimeunome says:

Was trying to get with a girl in college. We were texting and I asked her what she was up to, she said she was training for a marathon and going to the gym and asked if I wanted to come. I ended up running 9 miles before I tagged out. So now I know how far I'd go to get laid, it's up to 9 miles.

8. BigFatPapaBear says:

Lost my entire tax refund and got my phone stolen at a strip club in San Diego.

9. fishthe9 says:

I got asked to dog sit at a friend's parents' house. She set me up with a blow-up mattress in the living room. I got a little bored, so I called my girlfriend, and we proceeded to have video sex right there in the living room.

I got a text the next day saying there were cameras in the living room, and they were just for keeping an eye on their dog while they were away, but if I wanted to, I could turn them the other way. I was pretty embarrassed after that one.

10. Jerrybeshara says:

My sister was getting married to my now brother-in-law when I was 18. I was his best man, we were finishing up getting ready at the church, and I was in one of the back rooms trying to tie my tie. His younger stepsister, my age, had been helping out all day and the night before. She was charming, and She and I had been flirty all weekend. She came into the room to get something, and I asked her if she knew how to tie a tie the right way.

She came over to help, got all up close, and gave me sexy eyes. It just popped off. We locked the door and got down right before the ceremony. Then later at the reception. Her dad found out later and lost his sh*t. He wasn’t married to my brother in laws mom, but they’d been together a long time, so I guess she wasn’t technically his stepsister. Whatever. He hated me. Every time our families hung out, he would be a dickhead. They ended up breaking up, and he moved with his daughter to Missouri.

11. OhCr*pItsYouAgain says:

In college, it was a random weeknight. I had started talking to my first “girlfriend” again (we “dated” in middle school/freshman year of high school several years prior. She was on trimesters, so she didn’t have classes that week and was at her parents' lake house alone. Truly a “my parents are gone” text - and five minutes later, my mind was made up, and I was on my way to the car.

I drove 2.5 hours one-way, in the middle of the night, in February (upper Midwest) to meet up with this girl and seal the deal that pre-teen I had set in motion seven years prior. It was…just alright.

I forgot that I had a mandatory chemistry lab at 8 am the next day. It was 3 am when the post-nut clarity hit (while we were smoking some weed). I pulled an all-nighter (we banged again), and then drove back to my school on zero sleep, about 6x the healthy limit of caffeine, and groggy AF from her sh*tty weed, I rolled into the chem building.

Sit there for ten minutes before I realize NO ONE ELSE IS THERE. This was pre-smart phones, and most people didn’t carry their laptops to classes - so I hopped on a computer to verify the schedule and saw the email from the professor that the lab was moved to the next week…she sent it two minutes after I followed my 2nd brain out the door the night before.

12. RealNCRranger says:

I accidentally put myself in debt by f*cking my former accountant on his desk and messing up papers. It cleared up, but it was an awful week and a half.

Sources: Reddit
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