Someecards Logo
ADVERTISING
'AITA for keeping all the money from mine and my wife's baby shower?' UPDATED

'AITA for keeping all the money from mine and my wife's baby shower?' UPDATED

ADVERTISING

"AITA for keeping all the money from mine and my wife's baby shower?"

My wife (24 F) and I (29 M) are having our first baby boy. We are due in May, so we had our shower last weekend. Her family didn't really plan the whole thing other than decorating so I ended up purchasing a venue as I wanted to make a big deal of this to make my wife feel special.

I spent $2,500 on this venue which I was prepared to do and okay with. My wife wanted something smaller initially but I wanted to do the co ed thing and invite my friends and family too.

After paying for the place, my account was depleted and I won't be paid again for 2 weeks. So I took all the cash we were given in cards and deposited into my account. We ended up getting about $1600, so I only ended up paying less than $1000 for the shower.

My wife is upset about this because she feels as if the money should be used for more baby things and not to "pay myself back", as she put it. I told her I can't just have $0 in my account for 2 weeks, and she said I should have thought of that before booking such a big space for the shower instead of doing something smaller like she originally wanted.

She's also upset because a majority of the money came from her family. I honestly just assumed any money we got was going into paying for the shower, and she assumed it would be for whatever else we didn't get on our registry.

I can't help but feel like she is being ungrateful about the situation, but I also possibly should have planned ahead so I wouldn't be left with no money. I will probably use the money on baby stuff anyway, however I need gas and food money as well. AITA here?

What do you think? This is what top commenters haf to say:

epostiler said:

So, just to be clear: 1.) You did the opposite of what your wife wanted because you wanted to make her feel 'special.' 2.) People gave money for the baby which you're using to reimburse yourself. For the venue you picked. Sorry buddy, you clearly can't be reached through normal means of communication. There is no way to reach you which is more persuasive than the bare facts. YTA.

Liss78 said:

YTA. Those were gifts for the baby not reimbursement for throwing a shower. "My wife is upset about this because she feels as if the money should be used for more baby things and not to "pay myself back", as she put it." She's 100% right

"she said I should have thought of that before booking such a big space for the shower instead of doing something smaller like she originally wanted." This, too. "I spent $2,500 on this venue which I was prepared to do and okay with." You can't say that and then say this: "I can't just have $0 in my account for 2 weeks"

You can't be okay spending money and then not be okay having $0 in your account. Do you not see the contradiction there?

DancinginHyrule said:

Your wife is absolutely right. And it must be frightening to be one month due with a man who spent 2500 on a party, knowing he technically could not feed his family for the next two weeks. YTA, what on earth where you thinking? What if no one had given money? Then what?

lihzee said:

YTA. This was a series of really bad decisions. Who the hell rents a venue for a freaking baby shower? It's scary that you're having a child when you are clearly terrible with money. Of course that money was for the baby, how can you be this dense?

squidsrstrange said:

YTA you went against her wishes, didn’t plan ahead, and now the whole point of a baby shower in this day and age (to gain much needed extra cash for the expenses of a new baby) is completely lost. give her the money and be poor for two weeks

princesshibou said:

YTA for being one of those people who unilaterally decided to spend a bunch of money on something despite your wife saying she didn’t, and then want both party to pay the consequences. Your wife didn’t want a big shower, you knew this, and you still decided to rent a big venue for it, and depleting your bank account in the process.

“I honestly just assumed any money that we got was going to pay for the shower”. You host a shower to get stuff for the baby. Not to host a party. I think you wanted a big gathering not because you wanted to do something nice for your wife, but to show off.

And Jimi204 said:

YTA. Jesus Christ dude…that’s not how it works. That money is for baby stuff, not for you to pay for the damn venue. The hell is wrong with you? No one should even have to explain this

The dad-to-be later shared this series of updates:

Update: Since there are too many comments to respond to, let me add some info here. I dont see it as stealing from my baby since I don't by any means plan to spend ALL of this money on myself. I'm most likely going to be the one paying for everything the baby needs and also am going to be helping my wife with her medical bills.

My wife has money saved since her maternity leave is unpaid so its not like I'm just leaving her high and dry. She has money and i don't expect her to use it on baby things. I thought I would get more money from taxes so I did think I'd be able to afford it. Baby boy will get what he needs one way or another, but thank you for all your perspectives. It opened my eyes.

Update 2: We got a LOT of stuff for our shower not just money. We have most of the essentials and all the big expensive things. The fact we had so many people is why we got so much stuff. We had about 110 people and definitely got more than what I spent for the venue. It paid off. A lot of these comments are assuming we only got money and that's not true at all.

Also the shower was beautiful and my wife had a good time so it paid off in that way too. She's just mad now that I'm keeping the little money we got but if we had a smaller shower we wouldn't have gotten all the items we did.

Final update: These responses gave me a lot to think about. I made a rash and impulsive decision because I wanted everyone to see that I could provide for my family, and all I did was prove to myself and my wife that I have a lot of learning to do. My decision to have a lavish shower was based on insecurity more than anything and I was wrong for that.

My wife did eventually agree to have the bigger shower because she wanted me to have a say since this is my baby too, but asked if I was sure I could cover the cost multiple times. I said yes. Repeatedly I reassured her that I could do this.

I truly did assume that money given at baby showers was to pay for the shower (like how ppl pay for their plates at a wedding), or for whatever we as a couple needed. I didn't even think about the fact that the money is for the baby and didn't consider putting it in a savings for him but I like that idea. I have never been to a baby shower so I didn't know any better.

Those of you who said I should suffer the next couple weeks are right. I will give the money to my wife and let her decide what should be done with it. Thank you for all your responses.

Sources: Reddit
© Copyright 2024 Someecards, Inc

ADVERTISING
Featured Content