Being a good parent means that sometimes you have to let your kid fail, in order to teach them a lesson.
In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a mom asked if she was wrong for not fighting the school to allow her daughter to go on a field trip. She wrote:
I will try to keep this short, my daughter is in a class that only allows the students to go on a field trip if they have an A in the class. It is like a bonus for doing well. She has known about this for a long time and I have been up to date with her teacher since she struggles sometimes. Basically everyone gets to go on the trip due to the bonus point situation.
The issues is my daughter has not done a single bonus point assignment at all, and she has a b in the class. If she did ever two m bonus point assignment she easily could have been having a A. My son took this class and he did every bonus assignment and he got a hundred in the class even after he turned in his final blank.
This class is just to prepare you for the SAT, so really not a hard class but you need to do the work. Anyways she came home and was informed she isn’t eligible for the field trip and will stay behind in the library with everyone else. She has been upset since. We got into an argument after she asked me to talk to the teacher. I told her no and now my husband is also on her side. They both think I am jerks.
naijas_mm wrote:
NTA - what you're doing is allowing her to experience the consequences of her own actions. Getting to go on a field trip is not a human right. Moving forward though, it might be helpful (for you and especially for her) to get to the bottom of why she didn't do the bonus assignments.
Did she think the consequences wouldn't apply to her? Has she been dealing with a tough time that you aren't aware of? Does she feel like she's losing in a secret competition w/ her brother? All of these are just shots in the dark off the top of my head, but whatever the reason(s), knowing what's going on will open up potential to learn from this situation.
GothPenguin wrote:
NTA-The requirement for going on the trip was presented to your daughter. She had the same opportunity to do bonus assignments others had. She chose not to do them. It’s her choice to make. Now she’s learning there are consequences to her choices.
GuinevereMorgann wrote:
NTA. She knew what the requirements were for going on the field trip. She didn't meet those requirements, so she doesn't get to go. Your husband should back you up on this. Ask him if he really wants to teach your daughter that she can do whatever she wants with no consequences.
When your daughter gets a job and does none of the work but still expects to be paid, will he want you to call her supervisor to make her get paid?
SpicyTurtle38 wrote:
NTA. She was fully aware of the consequences of her inaction and the steps she needed to take to remedy it. You do not need to make abundance of yourself with the school to accommodate her lack of effort. If she cared she could have been proactive.
OP is NTA here, she's actually being a good parent by letting her daughter face the consequences of her own actions.