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Aunt wants to confront 8 yo nephew about his gender identity behind mom's back. AITA?

Aunt wants to confront 8 yo nephew about his gender identity behind mom's back. AITA?


When this aunt is concerned that her nephew might need support, they ask Reddit:

'WIBTAH if I told my nephew that they might be a girl?'

My nephew (8yo) frequently puts on their sisters (10yo) dresses and shows interest in makeup and 'girls toys.' I am currently visiting my sister's (28f) house and have brought up the fact that her child may identify as a girl.

She says that this is ridiculous and that they are just going through a phase and that she doesnt want to confuse them by having this conversation.

Just this morning they were insisting that they would be a mermaid if they could while we were all hanging out at the pool in their back yard. I also saw them 'playing' with their moms makeup while I was watching the kids while my sister went to pick up pizza for dinner.

My sister is very right wing when it comes to se% and gender. She even watched the documentary 'what is a woman' last month and was talking about it yesterday. That is the only reason I consider intervening without permission.

AITAH for considering sitting down with my nephew and asking them if they feel like a girl inside and then give them the direction and support that they may or may not need?

Let's see what readers had to say.

owlscardinals writes:

YTA. Stay out of it. You don't get to decide for someone else that they 'might' be a different gender. That's something they'll decide for themselves, with the help of their parent, who has made it clear they don't want you to intervene.

EVEN IF your sister had not made that explicit, it wouldn't be your place. You'd be a MASSIVE AH if you don't follow her wishes.

Let's see what readers had to say.

maleficent40 writes:

ESH. Mom doesn't need to be quite so certain of what this is or isn't and you need to let the child lead. Maybe the child is transgender.

Maybe the child just doesn't see these things as 'girl things'. Maybe they're trying out stuff other people in their life have/like because kids try things. If you think something they like is cool or pretty, say so, and leave it there.

pesec1 writes:

YWBTA. Just because a child likes 'girl stuff' does not mean they don't like being a boy. That's not even getting into the fact that throughout history, it wasn't uncommon for men in nany cultures to use various forms of makeup.

I know plenty of girls and clearly heterosexual women who happen to like various kinds of 'boys' or 'mens'' things and activities. The only reason this is much less of a case with boys and men is much greater stigma for males acting in ways different than what society envisions men to be. Fortunately, things seem to be getting better.

Also, it is very common for younger sibling to like emulating the older sibling. Especially when their relationship is good and ages are not too far apart.

So, is OP TA here, or does ESH? What is best for this situation?

Sources: Reddit
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