Woman roasts MIL's parenting style; says, 'tell me how he ruined his life.' AITA?
When this woman is fed up with her MIL, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for snapping at my in-laws for saying my husband 'ruined' his life?"
My (36f) husband (36m) comes from a family of athletes; they put him in boxing as a kid. He was talented and he suffered a lot of pressure from his family.
They wanted him to become professional but my husband never wanted that. In high school, things got worse for him as the school's coaches were brutal and the attention he received from promoters and outside coaches led his family to put more pressure on him.
The relationship with his family went south when he informed them he was going to university and giving up boxing for good (not true the boxing part). I met him a month before we started high school and we've been together ever since. When he was 30, his family contacted him to try to fix their relationship; their relationship is decent, the same with me.
Now, we took our children on Sunday to visit them. SIL and her husband were talking about one of my nephews learning to play the piano and that he is good for his age. Then MIL said and quote “be careful, you don’t want to 'encourage' him only for him to quit and ruin his life as (my husband’s name)”.
It seemed like MIL forgot I was there and they went silent (my husband was out buying some things with his father and his other 2 BIL). I was calm and asked her how he ruined his life, his sisters got involved and said that's not what MIL meant and I wouldn’t understand. I replied:
“No, I don’t understand; I don't understand why you wanted to live through him, why you never listened to him, why you never accepted what he wanted, why you didn’t let him be, why you think he ruined his life, I don’t get it.
If you think it’s because I don’t know how talented he was, you’re wrong because I was there, even when you abandoned him, it wasn't for nothing that he got two scholarships and people were after him.
I'd understand if he didn't do anything with his life, but that’s not the case. He has a degree, an amazing career, built 2 different business, is a great father and husband. He is more successful than all of you combined.
Please, tell me how he ruined his life or what part I don’t understand”. I got silence. I took our children and left; I texted my husband that I was going home. He arrived shortly after and told him what happened and he’s not mad.
To be honest, this is the first time I heard these types of comments and I pretty much blew the relationship he has with his family and apparently also caused issues with his sisters' husbands because they had a different version of why my husband was estranged. AITA?
Let's find out.
lalalalabambi writes:
NTA Good on you! I played volleyball competitively through high school and was offered several scholarships to play at great schools. I was burnt out and I wanted to focus on my degree.
My parents were not ok with me turning down the volleyball scholarships and then my Mom told me I would not get me my college fund (which I know is a privilege on its own) unless I attended state school near her.
Guess who dropped out of that school to move away from her parents after a year? Guess who went no contact with them for a year? And guess who is proudly finishing up her biology degree at 34?]. You did a wonderful job of advocating for abs defending your husband. Kudos to you!