Bride considers disinviting own mom when she insists on stealing the spotlight. AITA?
When this bride to be is concerned about her high maintenance mother, she asks Reddit:
'AITA- Mother of bride - refusing to wear any color except white?'
Am I the asshole? I am going to be a 2024 bride to the absolute love of my life. Growing up my mom has always played the victim in every situation. I don't ever remember having an apology from her or her admitting that she was in the wrong.
Don't get me wrong, she does alot for me. When our relationship is good it's really good! Anyways, it's just under a year to the wedding and I have started planning my dress and the bridal parties outfits.
My mom(MOB) also said she wanted to start planning hers. She started showing me full length white dresses. I explained to her that I did not want any resemblance of white for outfits for anyone going to the wedding.
She went ahead and ordered all white long dresses and has fallen in love with the colour. I told her she would look beautiful but for my wedding day I want to be the only one.
I am in my early 20's. I have only reconnected my relationship with my father over the last year(After 10 ish years). So it will be more than likely her walking me down the aisle..
She had turned the victim and has now said my wedding will look horrendous for her not being allowed to wear white. She has accused me of me not wanting her to feel beautiful and that the day always has to be about me. What do I do?
Let's see what internet users had to say.
gleamingcubicle writes:
NTA. This new chapter in your life is a great time to finally tell your mother she isn't the center of the world.
'There will be only one person wearing white at my wedding. You can choose another dress color or you will be choosing not to come. I really hope you choose to come to my wedding. I hope this dress isn't more important than our relationship'
Make sure she knows she'd be the one responsible for her own disinvitation.
torient writes:
NTA. Tell her you'd love to have her there and that she is welcome in any colour other than white (or ivory/cream etc if she's likely to get petty and these colours bother you too).
She will then continue throwing a tantrum, trying to argue with you etc. Kindly but firmly repeat 'We'd love to have you there but this is non-negotiable. Please confirm that you won't be wearing a white dress.'.
Do not engage with her in any other way. Don't argue or bargain or try to present reason because she won't listen. Don't address any comments she makes.
Eventually she'll either be forced to say 'fine I'm not coming' or 'fine I won't wear a white dress'. I know this because I've just gone through this exact thing myself a few months ago with my FMIL. Good luck!
scooby9 writes:
I'd personally go for having her turned away before you walk down the aisle if she does turn up in a white dress. By the time someone throws wine on her at the reception, she will have already blindsided you on your walk down the aisle by sitting there in a white dress.
Not sure what country this is but I know you're not supposed to have alcohol before/during the ceremony in the UK so may be difficult to do before.