Bride accuses MIL 'are you trying to compete with MY wedding?" AITA?
When this bride is concerned that she might be a bridezilla after her reaction to her MIL trying to possibly steal the spotlight, she asks Reddit:
"AITA to be upset that my MIL is competing with my wedding?"
Am I wrong to be upset? I’m upset cuz my mother in law invited 82 people (including children when we said it was a kid free wedding) when we gave her a list of 41. And then she said the day after the wedding she’s throwing a mini family reunion for her fathers birthday even tho his bday is two months before.
She is not planning the wedding and not paying for a majority of it and it’s in my parents backyard and my dad was cooking and now we have to order more food and chairs and tables and fit them all in their yard.
My parents have put so much time resources and effort and my mom has been planning it all by herself (besides me but we live in different cities so she’s the one doing most reception stuff) And now she can’t invite alot of her people. I am also mostly mad at MIL’s nonchalant attitude about doing this.
Saying the kids don’t count, that toddlers won’t cry in the church (as someone who goes to church weekly I know this isn’t true and the church doesn’t have a cry room), and having invited all these distant extra people without asking. And most of these people are very distant relatives, all close family was on the original list.
Mostly though, am I wrong to be upset she planned what she herself calls a mini family reunion for the day after my wedding? I wanted the weekend to be about us and to spend the day after relaxing and idk if that makes me a bridezilla. AITA?
Let's see what readers thought. Mostly, they had conflicted pieces of advice for OP.
stoneageprue writes:
Uninvite the people you and your fiancé don’t want there, stand up for yourself and your mother. If 41 invites aren’t enough for her, that’s her problem. Let her then have her family reunion the next day, as that doesn’t affect you or the wedding in any way, shape or form. That’s the only compromise here.
miguel56 writes:
You told her a limit on # of people, tell her to uninvite people and no kids. That was the condition she was to meet. Doesn't matter if she has a family reunion after your wedding the next day, has no impact on you at all you should be on your honeymoon.
So why is that any of your business? But it is your business for them to invite more than they were allowed and invite kids when you said no. If she refuses, then cut the wedding way way back to just close friends and immediate family and have a nice wedding day.
effectivebrief writes:
Your wedding is your wedding. Her reunion is her reunion. DO NOT LET HER PUSH YOU AROUND. Only the people you invite are welcome. Make sure everyone understands that the wedding is child free and there will be no exceptions. Your parents can make a stand as well since the wedding is in their backyard!!!! You need to have your husband-to-be stand up and grow a pair!!! If he can't, don't get married.
dotfromkansas writes:
The only thing you are wrong about is marrying a toddler that won't tell his mommy that she has to uninvite the 40 extra people that she so very rudely and disrespectfully invited to NOT HER WEDDING!!!
If you decide to go through with this mess, you don't have to go anywhere you don't want to. Period. You are an adult and an invitation can be turned down. NO REUNION!! Or, again, if you don't go, will his mommy throw a fit? This is the rest of your life. Think about it.
ownpresentation writes:
Tell her the price for everything needed for the extra guests she Invited down to the linens if your using them, and ask her where your parents friends are meant to sit? ( I mean itamiszed bill to her for the add on's )
it's a safety hazard your parents will be liable for if this goes wrong make her understand 41 she already got this is to show off probably her hairdresser and her nextdoor neighbours cats breeder lol but Op this is your parents home they don't get to go home after this is not fair on them.
If you don't put your foot down and he deals with his family noone will be happy and his mother will always get her way. Think of your mum doing all this then having to say to people who watched you grow you can't come his mother took all the seats in my backyard.
What would you tell your mother if she acted this way good luck your going to need it as she gets your wedding her way. I hope you get your dream wedding but it takes him to step up it's his mother.