Bride refuses to accommodate mother's dietary requests for wedding cake. AITA?
When this bride refuses to make dietary accomodations for her wedding cake, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for not banning strawberries from my wedding cake?"
I'm getting married next year. I love strawberries and I want some on my wedding cake. My plan is to have a four tier cake where the bottom two are completely separate entities with different flavours and the top two are lemon/strawberry.
My mother is mildy allergic to strawberries. Will have a headache and a mild rash if she eats one but is fine with eating food that has touched strawberries.
She is absolutely incensed with my plan to include strawberries in my wedding cake and continously makes passive aggressive comments about how wedding RSVPs include a section for the guests allergies and she would never serve something a guest couldn't eat.
I explained to her that she is more than free to eat the other two cakes, they will be entirely strawberry free, aren't even touching the top cake and more importantly, my mother has diabetes and won't be eating more than a small slice to begin with.
My fiance agrees she's being selfish. I'm making this post because I was telling my dad about this issue and she walked in and added that "this is my only daughters one and only wedding, I want to be able to eat every part of the cake."
Haven't been able to close my mouth since from the pure shock. I mean. It's MY only wedding. And she sees nothing wrong with saying something so insanely out of pocket??
Well. My dad agrees with her so maybe I'm taking this too seriously and I can skip strawberries for a day? I really don't want to, but I also don't want to make this a big drama. My mom is used to getting whatever she wants and I'm used to my dad siding with her but I really thought my goddamn wedding would be the exception. AITA?
Let's see what readers thought.
username52 writes:
NTA as long as it's actually safe for her to eat the cake, and you aren't downplaying her allergy. Even if she's okay with being near strawberries, another tier of the same cake would be worrisome to me. But as long as she's not completely excluded from dessert, either the other tiers or another dessert, it's fine.
She's right that you should have a section for allergies on the RSVP though. Make sure there is at least one option for everyone, and that things with a certain ingredient are clear.
I have a friend who is allergic to lots of fruit, we gave him a heads up about our cake before the wedding. But we were at another wedding, and the cupcakes had strawberries in them that weren't obvious. My husband happened to eat one and tell him "Hey, I just had a cupcake and it had a strawberry in it, heads up". But had this guy grabbed a cupcake first, it could have been bad.
My husband is a vegetarian and we were at a wedding. A waiter was passing out egg rolls and he asked if there was meat in it and they had no clue. Knowing allergies, you can say to the waiters, "Make sure you can answer that X has Y in it."
maxgoldfinch writes:
NTA. Your wedding, your cake, your strawberries. Your comment about your mom being used to getting what she wants is the key here. She hates that the cake isn't all about her. I think it's very kind that two tiers of your cake are suitable for her anyway, they don't have to be. Make the whole thing strawberries.
tastyterpes writes:
NTA but based on your other comment that you were never allowed a strawberry cake for your own birthday, EVER, it seems like your mom just doesn’t want you to have anything special for yourself for some weird reason and is using the strawberries to get her way again. Don’t budge on this. It’s YOUR day.