College student says stepdad is demanding rent to spite her; he calls her 'entitled.'
'AITA for refusing to get a job and pay rent at my parents house?'
I had my 18th birthday 3 days ago. On the day after my birthday my stepdad told me he wants me to start paying rent to “live in his house.” My stepdad is quite Christian and conservative.
I don’t expect to live rent free forever, but I know my stepdad is coming from a spiteful place. He and my mum have 2 kids of their own and have been married for 9 years. I’m not his own and it’s clear that I’m a reminder that his wife was a non-virgin divorced woman before when they met, so of course I’m being treated like a guest.
My mum is allowing it because she thinks the sun shines out of his ass. He doesn’t need my money to pay rent, plus I don’t have much and he wants £100 per month. We won't know this until down the road, but I bet his own kids won’t be paying rent while they’re in school.
My A level exams (UK school system) start mid April and last up to July. I’m doing STEM subjects and I’m hoping to fulfil my offer for a medicine course at a good university. I’m aiming for A* A* A* A which will take a lot of studying, and if I have to get a job it will be difficult to maintain that level of studying that I need to do.
I’m literally moving out in September, (Idk if the university finances differ in the USA and Ik this platform is predominantly American, so in the UK uni is funded by loans, and these loans cover everything and are 100% my responsibility and my parents won’t be financing anything).
So it honestly just feels vindictive, and it’s not like I’m unproductive. I’m trying to save the money I had left from my last job for when I move out. Paying my stepdad £800 when he doesn’t need it feels spiteful and like he’s punishing me and making my life harder for being born.
Basically my aunt (mum's sister) who isn’t fond of him said he’s being ridiculous and told me to come live with her. Her house is an hour away, but my school is in the middle (30 mins each way if that makes sense). She said she has a guest room free so I can save my money for uni. This benefits me most so I took her up on the offer.
My mother keeps crying that I’m leaving already, so my stepdad is annoyed. We got into an argument where he said he’s just treating me like a tenant to prepare me for the real world, so I said “do tenants not have the right to leave?” Which annoyed him further.
My stepdad says I'm hurting my mother and taking resources from my aunt because I'm “too entitled” to pay rent. This is just what’s best for me. I said I’d visit. AITA?
Notes from OP:
He is distant with me, I was very exited to have a stepdad. We were all supposed to go camping when I was younger, he and my mum got into a spat, so he took his kids camping and left me and my mum at home.
Only shitty parents love using the “18 is an adult” excuse to treat their children like shit bc they can't be arsed with them anymore. If I was out of education with a proper job fair enough but I’m not and I don’t see what benefit making me skint [having little or no money available] for uni will do (he does not need the money).
Here's what people had to say:
NTA. Actions, meet consequences. Your stepdad tried to flex on you...and his powerplay backfired. Your mother may be crying, but she LET HIM DO IT. That house is half hers, and so is the decision to charge you rent. She is not blameless here.
RoyallyOakie writes:
NTA...Your mother cries while she enables his behaviour. Get out of there and build a better life for yourself. Good luck.
CoffeeSpoons123 writes:
Sabotaging her A levels is incredibly toxic. Her mom is horrible for letting him do that.
Overbeingoverit writes:
Based on the title, I was prepared to side against OP as we currently have an adult child who is refusing to get a job or pay for any kind of expenses. The difference is, our deal with all of our children is that once they are adults and done with high school, they need to either continue their education (college, trade school, certification program, whatever they want) or get a job