Dad asks if he's wrong for making daughter do chores as payment for rent and tuition.
AITA for not paying my daughter to babysit her younger siblings?
So my 20 year old daughter is currently a college student. She lives in my house free of rent. I only ask her to do a few things around the house from time to time, like cooking and cleaning. Typical things you're expected to do on a daily basis anyways.
Occasionally she has to watch over her younger brothers since I may be busy with work or when I need a break to hang out with my girlfriend.
My daughter recently spoke up to me about how she feels I'm putting too much of a workload on her back which I don't see how. She told me she's okay with cooking and cleaning around the house, but having to watch over her siblings was annoying & stressful and that it's taking away from her studies.
That pissed me off because I myself went to school while having to pay bills & take care of her as a baby alongside my ex-wife. I told her she was acting very privileged and that if I could do it, so could she. She didn't like that very much and stormed off into her room. Well she went behind my back and told my sister about how 'bad' I was treating her.
My sister is very kind & gullible at times, so she called me and said the least I could do was give her an allowance for the chores I make her do. I explained why I felt that wasn't necessary and she told me not to compare my situation to my daughter's since apparently I put myself in the position I was in back then which I guess is a fair argument.
But since she is living in my house rent free and I'm paying for her college, I feel that in of itself should count as an allowance. So I just wanted to ask whether I'm wrong for not wanting to pay her extra money to do basic chores.
Edit: So in regards to how often I ask her to babysit, it's usually 3 times a week. I don't see how that's too much to ask of her. It's usually only for a few hours until I get back home. My boys are twins & they're 5 years old. They aren't crazy kids by the way, they're more mature than the typical one's you'll see.
Here's what people had to say:
eikerir writes:
YTA. 'because I myself went to school while having to pay bills & take care of her as a baby alongside.' That was your own baby and your own decision, same as now. You daughter has no kids, it's not her responsibility.
amiethef0restf4iry writes:
She shouldn't get an allowance for doing chores, but she absolutely should get paid for watching children she didn't choose to have - since they're her siblings, not children.
Acrobatic-Bit4846 writes:
I think if she’s asked to babysit once every few weeks, that is the equivalent of a chore. If it’s multiple times a week, that changes things.
DrAniB20 writes:
Absolutely! So, on top of a full course-load, she has to cook for the family (I’m assuming), clean after her and her brothers, and watch them for a minimum of 9 hours a week (we know he definitely asks for more)
SerialPizzaThief writes:
He tried to play it off as occasional chores and babysitting but i have a feeling daughter is playing mommy