Dad berates daughter for getting laid off in US; 'Don't come back to India, I'm ashamed.' AITA?
When this father is angry with her daughter's work ethic, he asks Reddit:
"AITA for shouting at my daughter for losing her job after I supported her financially?"
My (M) daughter just lost her job and was fired because her company decided to lay off a lot of the low performers.
She only just started working in October. We are from India and she studied in the USA and then started work there on H1B visa. Now if she doesn't find something else quick she has to come back to India and it will be such a waste of money.
While she did get scholarship to study in USA, I still helped her financially for other costs when she was a student.
It was telling her many times she was taking too much vacation to travel and was lazy and she even took 5 sick days in just 4 months there. She claims this has nothing to do with it and she was completing all her tasks but I don't believe her.
It cannot be a case of cost cutting as the company is doing very well, i saw the financial statements for the previous quarters.
Even as a kid she had much more potential, she hardly spent time studying despite being intelligent. I shouted at her on the phone for this but now she is upset and not picking my calls.
It will be very embarrassing if she has to come back to India and I have already told friends and family how she is working in USA. I don't even want her to come back.
Let's see what readers thought.
nikeesen writes:
YTA. You've demonstrated a profound lack of knowledge about your daughter's situation. The job market in North America is absolute crap now. Anyone who enters the work force is expandable regardless of how hard they work or how loyal. Oh and layoffs even if a company is excelling?
A normal practice because they're cutting costs to maximize profits at the expense of workers who then bear the burden of increased workloads, often doing the tasks of two or three workers so upper management and corporate shareholders can have a larger portion of the lion's share of profits.
antiquead writes:
Sounds like you're embarrassed to tell your friends. Your daughter didn't make it in the USA after you bragged about her being there. Just because you see earning statements online does not show the health of the company or cost cutting measures they want to take.
It could be around the layoffs. You feel she's lazy, you helped her in a foreign country when she got a scholarship. Basically this is you being embarrassed that your friends will know. Your daughter is not the super success you built her up to me.
How about focus on your daughter and not your own pride. You don't get to get credibility for your friends off of her work. If she needs to go home, yeah that's sad, if you don't want her to go home tell her she needs to find another job and stay in the USA. YTA.
carelessability7 writes:
Yta for shouting at your daughter. Yta for repeatedly defending yourself for shouting at your daughter. Companies can do well and still decide to reprioritize their budget.
Stop acting like you know every thing about decisions you're not involved in. And none of that justified yelling at your daughter, no wonder she isn't answering your calls.
News flash - people get sick. And sick days are probably part of her benefits package, she's allowed to use them.
bluenes6 writes:
YTA. You are profoundly ignorant of how employment works in the United States. First of all, it doesn’t matter that the company is “doing very well.” Companies want more profit and more dividends for stock holders, always.
If the company is not meeting whatever monthly, quarterly, or annual targets they set, they will cut a certain number of people from payroll to boost the bottom line. This is common, if despicable, practice.
Second, you can’t really say that the company was laying off “low performers.” How would you know? I doubt that’s how your daughter would have put it. That may be what the company says but again, it was probably a financial decision and the rule generally is “last in, first out” in these cases so the newest employees are laid off.
It is possible your daughter was a poor performer (usually an employee cannot take time off during the “probationary period” of the first few months anyway) but you don’t really know and berating her is unhelpful.
If your daughter got an international scholarship and completed college she’s not terminally lazy. She is capable of finding another job and likely will since I imagine she very much does not want to return to you in India.
I think it’s horrible that your focus is all on the money spent and how “embarrassed” you would be.
If worst come to worst and she did come back, you could easily say your daughter got homesick or just didn’t like the capitalist hellscape that is the US job market. I doubt she will come back, but either way, shouting at your child just isn’t a useful or effective approach.