Dad cancels daughter's eczema appointment; convinced gluten is the issue. AITA?
When this father feels like he may have made a parenting error when it comes to his daughter's health, he asks Reddit:
"AITA for cancelling my daughter's appointment?"
I am a dad. Yesterday her mother my ex-wife texted me that my 16 year old daughter has a doctor appointment today, because she has a "blistery scaley rash" on her underarm. My ex-wife said since there is no school she is going to take her in.
Years ago my daughter suffered from never ending eczema which I knew was from a gluten allergy. So we went gluten free at my insistence and the eczema cleared up. (I suggested the gluten free because my brother had a wheat allergy as a child.)
Shortly after we went gluten free is when my wife and I split up. I think my daughter was 4 or 5 at the time. She would continue to have eczema breakouts whenever she was at my house. I'm talking scaly eczema rash all over the inside of her elbows and the backs of her knees. Her mom said that it would always clear up at her house.
So at this time several years ago I made a doctor appointment to have her blood tested for a gluten allergy.
The doctor told me that gluten allergies don't usually present as eczema but I told her my brother had a wheat allergy and that I know what I'm talking about. So she did the blood test and was negative for a gluten allergy.
Then we all had an appointment with the doctor who said that the eczema was likely a stress reaction. Well that didn't make any sense because she only got the reaction at my house, it would go away at her mom's house. I kept her on a gluten free diet at my house because I just know she inherited this gene from my brother.
So now it is many years later. My daughter has been eczema free for many years because of her gluten free diet. Last week when she was here, she started developing the rash on one of her underarms.
Now, she is an athlete and probably sweats a lot, so my ex wife suggested it was an eczema flare up. That didn't make any sense either because it was just on the right arm not the left. Well this time the rash got worse at her mom's house instead of at mine, so I again told my ex wife to remove gluten from her diet because that is obviously the problem.
Her mom responded that it was not from gluten, maybe it is bacterial or fungal or something, so she made her a doctor's appointment for today and let me know. Well, I cancelled the appointment because I don't need the doctor to tell me what I already know.
I told my ex wife I cancelled it and she got really mad and said now they had lost that appointment time and couldn't get it back. I told her she wouldn't have to take her to the doctor at all if she would just stop feeding her gluten. AITA?
Let's see what readers thought.
hotboxwrite9 writes:
YTA you had her tested for a gluten allergy and the result was negative yet you ignore this and decide you know better than the doctors. You are letting your daughter suffer an uncomfortable skin condition because of your arrogance. Take her to the doctor.
flamingo87 writes:
YTA, majorly!! Your daughter is 16. What does she want? I'm sure not an ugly rash for her classmates to see. As someone who suffers from eczema and has a child that does as well, sometimes you can't pinpoint the cause, and sometimes you can.
But what I do know is what causes my flare-ups is not what causes my son's, so your genetic guess is just that a guess. That doctors proved wrong.
gottabekidding writes:
YTA!! What medical school did you go to? What, just because your brother has a wheat allergy, does that mean that it applies to everyone? My God, you come across as such an obnoxious d-bag, it's not even funny.
You basically cancelled an appointment that your daughter needed because you think you know best. Her test came back negative, and you still know best. Father of the freaking century! Leave the medicine stuff to the doctors and get off whatever social media you get your medical knowledge from. Because your knowledge is trash.