Dad challenges school on daughter's 'b*llying' charge, mom says he's being 'a jerk.'
There's nothing quite like the power struggle between an annoyed parent and school staff. Regardless of who is in the right, there will be strong words exchanged.
In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a dad asked if he was wrong for challenging the school on behalf of his daughter. He wrote:
"AITA for fighting the school on the b*llying charge they put in my daughter's records?"
My kid is a junior in high school and she is a sweet kid. She has a best friend named Abby and they have been friends since preschool. It’s really cute how long they have been friends. They tease each other all the time. Last week at school she had to go to the principal on Friday because one of the teachers heard her call Abby a b#$%h.
It was in the context of her saying "yesss b#$%h" in agreement with her. Abby was brought in and it was explained that no bullying was happening and it is a saying. Well, the school gave my kid a b*lly mark and a week's detention for it. I went in and fought it today with the school board and Abby gave her own statement.
I got an email today saying it was removed but it was pretty rude and ended with "you can come to the school and not go above the principal if there is an issue." According to my wife, there is gossip that I was a huge jerk at the school for fighting this. So, outside opinions?
The internet was with OP all the way.
ezeequalsmchammer2 wrote:
NTA. I just quit teaching because of s#$t like this. Admin usually has no f#$king clue what real b*llying looks like, how subtle it is, and when it happens. You protected your child. She shouldn't be cursing in school but as a teacher that's more of a "come on...it's school" type situation than a big punishment. The school needs to get their priorities straight.
boffeeman wrote:
NTA. However, you need to talk to your daughter about inappropriate language at school. They will mark her up every time. School did right by writing up your daughter. You did right by going above the principle, they love the 'Let's keep this in-house' approach. Nothing ever gets solved that way.
Disastrous-Energy161 wrote:
Correct response:
"It's pretty rude for you to assume and not discuss this with the students AND parents together before even considering a mark on her record. Do better."
WaywardMarauder had a key question:
INFO: Did you even attempt to fix this through the principal before going to the school board?
And OP responded:
Saw no reason to try since when I picked it up and talked to her she made it clear she understood the “victim” explained it wasn’t b*llying. She basically said your daughter is a b*lly and everything everyone said it didn't matter. Also, the school board is just easier since they have hours for anyone to walk in.
livelife3574 wrote:
NTA. Protections for b*llying are warranted, but the school's tend to do this because they lack the resources or competence to do a thorough investigation. The clue they f-Ed is admonishing you for how you went about it.
OP is definitely NTA here, school policy simply doesn't make sense in this case.