Dad asks if he was wrong to give daughter's bedroom to newborn son.
Raising a blended family can be a huge burden on a parent. Every parent wants to ensure that the whole family is happy but sometimes it can be hard to please everybody. When this father of two gets in trouble for trying to give his teenage daughter's bedroom to her newborn stepbrother, he takes to the popular Reddit forum to ask:
'AITA for taking away my daughters bedroom and giving it to my son?'
I(M32) have a daughter Harper(F14) from a previous relationship. I have full custody and her mom is not involved in her life. 5 years ago I married my wife Nina(F31) we tried to have a child but couldn't.
We went to the doctor and turned out I can't have anymore kids due to some complications. We decided to use an sperm donor and the result was a son, Mark, who was born a few months ago. -th742689
That's wonderful! What could possibly go wrong?
The problems started when Nina got pregnant. Harper wasn't happy about it. When Mark was born things got worse. Before this Harper and I used to spend 2 days a week together, just the 2 of us without my wife but after Mark was born I couldn't do that anymore. I can't just leave my wife alone for 2 days a week with a newborn and Harper has been very angry about it.
That's understandable. But then it gets weirder...
The main problem started 3 days ago. Nina and I decided to make a nursery for Mark instead of having him in our bedroom for multiple reasons.
Our home has 4 bedrooms, 2 master bedrooms at one side and 2 bedrooms at the other side. One of the master rooms is ours, the other one is Harpers. It was very hard for Nina and I to go to the other side of the home multiple times at night when Mark wakes up so I asked Harper pack her stuff and go to one of the bedrooms so that we could give her room to Mark.
Okay, so they have 4 bedrooms? Am I supposed to feel bad for them? Sounds like Harper might be being a bit of a spoiled brat. But I'm not so sure...
At first everything seemed alright. She said ok and went to her room and started packing but less than an hour later my brother showed up at our home, asking for Harper. She had called him and asked him to take her. She came out of her room with her stuff, told me 'you can give it to your son now' and left with my brother.
Wowwwwww. Dramatic!
I told her she could only go for one night but it has been 3 days and she is not back and wont even talk to me. Im receiving calls from my family all calling me an AH and other names.I dont trust their judgement, they very clearly favor Harper.
She was the first grandchild in our family and everyone's favorite also they are trying to accept Mark as my son but I could see that they haven't been able yet so I decided to post here and get some unbiased opinions. AITA?
Well, is this OP the AH? Let's take a look...
YTA… you’ve taken the special time away from her (granted you have a newborn but you made that choice not Harper) and now you’ve taken her room. I think you need to have a long think about this… - dinomama7464545
NTA. I feel that it’s natural that the family dynamic changes every now and then; especially when something as huge as a baby being born happens. So, I don’t think it’s wrong you’re taking the 2 days and the room away. -irvrom
However, I think you handled the situation poorly with your daughter. You should’ve provided a clear solution to make it up to her. That makes you an asshole. I’m also mad at your brother for undermining your role as a caretaker. -irvrom
YTA. Now that you have your precious male heir you daughter is relegated to the lower ranks. If your wife can’t handle a newborn for 2 days by herself then maybe she shouldn’t have had a baby. Jesus. You act like she is incapable of being a mother whiteout your around to watch over her. -zealousidealtree451
I'd also wager there's some gendered favoritism too. OP has his precious son that he's always wanted, so daughter is expected to drop everything for his little emperor. Wouldn't be the first time a girl child has been deemed expendable in favour of the little lord. OP is definitely an AH. -beretbabe88