Dad gives son's toys to younger cousin, son accuses him of replacing him. AITA?
People often keep toys and trinkets from their childhood to maintain the memories associated.
So, when one dad started giving his teenaged son's toys to his younger cousin, he felt hurt. He immediately demanded them back. His father feels like it is a great way to pass on the joy of childhood to a younger relative but his son feels like he is being replaced.
AITA for telling my son that he doesn't need toys anymore?
Long story short, my 7yo nephew Cain and I have been spending a lot of time together. My brother and Cain's mom deal with some issues. I do have a 17yo son (Lex) and work from home, so I have a lot of spare time.
I love having Cain because I get to be a little kid dad again. Lex doesn't seem to mind that Cain basically lives here. Yesterday I took him shopping at Target and he asked me if he could get this quad drone.
I said I had a better idea. You can have Lex's old drone which is bigger! We just need batteries because Lex hasn't used it in like 8 years.
Then it hit me why not give Cain all of Lex's old toys. Legos, action figures, games, etc all collecting dust in the closet. Cain was so happy about it.
While I was giving Cain a bath, Cain was playing with some of Lex's toy cars, Lex came into the bathroom and told Cain to put back his toys when he's done. Lex was annoyed that Cain was using his toys.
I told Cain to ignore Lex and I'll talk to him. After I put Cain to bed, I told Lex that I gave Cain his toys. Lex said to stop and put his stuff back. I said that he's 17yo and has not touched his old toys in like 8 years. So what if I give them to Cain?
Lex said it was still his. I said yes, but you're 17. You don't play with toys anymore. It's fine to let other kids use them. It's not like I took stuff out of his room. I'm not buying something twice if I already have it home. Be a good cousin.
Here are the top rated comments from readers:
YTA. You gave those toys to your son. It’s his. I still keep some of my old toys from 35 years ago as a sentimental reminder of my late parents.
I'm 40 and gave a huge storage tub full of my childhood Legos to my kid when he turned 5. He loves them (which is awesome to see) and I get to play with them again!
YTA. The idea wasn’t bad but you really mishandled it. You could have talked with Lex and together chosen some items to give to Cain. It could have been a nice moment. Instead you unilaterally “gave” Cain all Lex’s toys and shamed him for having any sense of sentimentality about them. That was crappy.
I have a toy horse that I don’t “play with” cause I’m 47, but I like having it, the memories are connected with our first house we lived in till I was 5. In contrast I told my mom to give away my old doll house to whoever could use it. I bet there were some items he would willingly give up if asked, but you spoiled that by being a dictator.
YTA -- I suspect that Lex feels he is being replaced.
YTA. Having childhood toys when you're grown up can be something of great sentimental value. And maybe things we might want to give to our own children when we have them.
You stole these toys. Apologise and give them back, and buy new toys for cousin.
YTA - You're happy to have another opportunity to be Dad to a child at the expense of stealing your actual son's toys. They're not yours, so don't touch them, or you could always offer to buy them off of your son and see if his opinion changes then?