Being a parent to a teenager is hard, especially when they're acting out of turn. When this dad is called out for grounding his daughter 'unfairly' he takes to the popular Reddit forum to ask:
I 43M, have a daughter 16F. She’s always been a good kid but lately her close friends don’t seem to be good influences. A few nights ago she asked for a sleepover, I and my wife said no because we were leaving for a family event early the next day and would not have enough time to drive her friends home.
She started swearing at us at one point saying “I wish I was never born to parents like you,” my wife visibly hurt by this. I told her to go to her room and that she wasn’t allowed to hang out with her friends for a month.
I thought that this punishment was fair until I heard from my sister. She texted me saying I was being completely unfair to her and that she is only a child. Now my entire family is calling me a bad father.
My wife just had a discussion with her. My daughter told her that she would not be apologizing to her. I do admit that a month was a little excessive as I said it in the heat of the moment. She used to be such a good kid, is it bad that I want my little girl back? AITA?
NTA. But I will warn you, the more you try to control who she hangs out with, the more you will push your kid to them. Try discussing this in detail instead of just forbidding things.
YTA. There's alternatives to you driving her friends home - for instance, their parents picking them up instead - that you seemed pretty uninterested in exploring. And a month of grounding is just an utterly ridiculously overblown punishment for a harmless teenage tantrum.
NTA. But a month seems a bit extreme for an outburst. I would talk to her about how people forget her words but they won’t forget how her words made Tehran feel and when she doesn’t get her way she can’t say hurtful things.
I would let her know you were mad and hurt and the punishment was too harsh and then pick a new time frame. I’d say one weekend of no friends for something like that.
YTA. One, as many people have already pointed out, is the length of time you chose for grounding. A month is excessive and you know it. Two, she's NOT a little girl anymore. Your daughter is growing up and you need to accept that.