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' I locked myself in the basement for 4 hours and didn't help my wife with the baby?' AITA?

' I locked myself in the basement for 4 hours and didn't help my wife with the baby?' AITA?


"AITA I locked myself in the basement for 4 hours and didn't help my wife with the baby?"


I(30m) and my wife(29f) have been married for 4 years now. We have a 2 month old daughter. My wife is a SAHM and I work as a software engineer. I work remotely so it hasn't been that awful to split responsibilities.

We decided that we would be taking turns this weekend to take time for ourselves. Yesterday, my wife went with her friends for a girls' day out. She said she'd be back by around 8 pm and to not wait for her to eat dinner together. At around 8:30 pm I called her because she still hadn't come home.

She told me her friends were planning to have a sleepover as well and she requested me to take care of our baby tonight. Before I could reply, she hung up on me. The thing is our daughter, Rose, is colic so she doesn't sleep well. We usually take turns taking care of her because she cries a lot and it is very hard for one person to watch over her. I had to stay up all night yesterday with Rose.

My wife came home at 4 am and she was completely inhebriated. She just passed out on the bed immediately after coming home. At around 8 am, I got us fries, nuggets, burgers, and drinks for both of us(a strawberry milkshake and cold coffee for myself; a blueberry soda and espresso for her).

At around 9 am my wife woke up and said she felt very sick and asked me if I could take care of Rose for a few more hours so that she could eat breakfast and rest for a little bit. I was exhausted at that point because I hadn't slept all night yesterday but agreed.

I was really annoyed with her at that point though because today was supposed to be a break for me and her getting drunk wasn't part of the plan. We both had breakfast and she went back to bed. I was scrolling insta while waiting for my wife to wake up.

At 1 pm, she still hadn't woken up yet and I ended up having to cancel my lunch plan with my friends. I was beyond angry at that point but decided to wait for her to wake up instead of waking her up. She finally woke up at 3 pm.

I handed Rose to my wife and told her I'm going to the basement to watch a movie and take a nap. I also asked her not to disturb me until I came out on my own unless there was an emergency. I made myself a few grilled cheese sandwiches and took the strawberry shake with me to the basement. I set up an air mattress and some pillows, then locked the basement door.

Then I watched a few episodes of my favorite show. ended up falling asleep midway through the show and woke up around 7 pm to 40 missed calls from my wife.

When I went up to check on her and the baby, she said that I was very irresponsible and rude for leaving her alone with the baby for so long. I got mad and told her 'at least I didn't get extremely intoxicated and leave you to take care of a colic baby for more than a day on your own without any sleep.' She started crying and told me I was horrible for guilting her like that. AITA?

Here were the top rated comments from readers:


Your wife is so wrong, really stunningly wrong, first for staying out until four, second for drinking so hard she was still feeling bad at 1 pm, and then for having the chutzpah to yell at you for taking a four hour nap.

AND ALSO at the same time it’s just super duper hard to have a tiny baby with colic. If you can afford a night nanny for a couple nights it might be worth paying for some respite, which will feel even better than the satisfaction of knowing your wife is the AH. NTA, and hang in there!


NTA. I dont get all this people judging OP. They both needed the day off. They had a deal. She broke the deal. He was very nice to her and give her more free hours from HIS own time. And yet she cant deal with her own baby for an afternoon?! I get babies are exausting, comes with the territory. Mom is a SAHM, needs a break.

But, OP is exausted too!. He was taking care of his baby (who doesnt sleep well) for more than 24H all alone! The mom needs a reality check. She was the one who choose to get drunk when she full knew that the next day she needed to take care of a baby.

Edit to add: STOP saying that no one judge OP. First read ALL COMMENTS and then you can talk about it.


NTA you have a system of sharing responsibilities. She abandoned the responsibility and didn't even have the decency to communicate her plans properly just repeatedly leave you in positions where you had no choice. You take a rest for a few hours and you're the problem?

You communicated that you were hungry, tired and needed a rest. You took very minimal time to satisfy those needs and she's trying to manipulate the situation because she absolutely knows she was so in the wrong every step of the way.


NTA and I assure you, if you were a woman complaining about your husband going out to drink until 4am and getting drunk and irresponsible like this, there would be ZERO NAH/ESH. Can’t understand the mental gymnastics needed to justify the horrible behaviour by your wife.


NTA, definitely not the AH. You have every right to be angry. She got blind drunk and stayed out till 4am, ruined your day and then calls you irresponsible.


'She started crying and told me I was horrible for guilting her like that.'

'She said that I was very irresponsible and rude for leaving her alone with the baby for so long.'

Pot? Have you met Kettle? Lady couldn't handle 4 hours with 11 hours of sleep and gets mad at you when you're a little grouchy after watching a 2 month old for 19 hours with no sleep then getting less than four hours of sleep after the fact. I would be livid.

So, do you think the OP is being to harsh with his anger towards his wife's behavior or was she being irresposible and neglecting childcare?

Sources: Reddit
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