Dad snaps at wife after she has baby, says 'I changed my mind' about being stay-at-home dad.

It's extremely disorienting when a partner switches up on you out of nowhere, especially about something as important as parenting decisions.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for refusing to stay at home to look after her baby per her husband's request. She wrote:

"AITA for refusing to stay at home to look after my baby?"

I (33F) am a lawyer and my husband (34M) works in an office, I earn the most money so when I got pregnant we decided that my husband would stay at home with our daughter, at least until she was a little older. It’s been 2 months since I gave birth to our daughter and i’m planning on going back to work next month.

My husband told me last week that it would be better if I quit my job and took care of the baby and he could provide for us. I told him no because there is like no good reason to do that? I earn more than him and I actually like my job where as he hates his job and earns a lot less than me. Plus we literally agreed that iId work and he’d look after our daughter I don’t understand what’s changed?

He called me a bad mom and he’s been really upset with me since. We’ve been fighting about it a lot because he keeps bringing it up. It was his idea to have a child and he told me he was happy to be a stay at home dad I don’t understand why he doesn’t want that anymore.

The internet had OP's back all the way.

StAlvis wrote:

NTA.

"My husband told me last week that it would be better if i quit my job and took care of the baby and he could provide for us."

Better for whom?

thirdtryisthecharm wrote:

NTA. BUT regardless of the history here the current reality is that you don't want to quit your job, and he doesn't want to be a SAHP. So it's time to start looking for infant daycare or a nanny or au pair.

Perfect-Pineapple-22 wrote:

NTA. Your husband is insecure and trying to guilt trip you. He has this sexist idea in his head that it's mother's responsibility to stay and raise the children and father's responsibility to work and provide. This makes him a s#$%y dad for being ashamed to stay home and take care of his baby and a shitty partner for saying that you're a bad mum.

LaughingByCampfire wrote:

NTA. Guaranteed one or more friends/family/colleague made a joke and he got insecure about you being the breadwinner in the family or him being a stay at home dad. Hope you can talk through it.

Iadybayside23 wrote:

Are you me in 1999? I had this identical conversation with my now ex. I was making at least 3x what he made (Wall Street) and loved my job, he hated his and used to threaten to lock his keys in his desk and just not show up for work ever again. We would not have been able to pay our bills if we had to rely on his salary. On mine, we could. So we agreed, I would go back to work.

He did the SAHD thing but it did not go well. It was like being married to a 50s housewife. I would get home and he would tell me how awful the baby was and how lucky I was to be able to escape to work. I was working with 99% men, pumping milk in the ladies bathroom, trying to not be away from my high pressie job for long, and missing the baby.

Meanwhile our kid had serious health issues (all resolved, she's an adult) so we could not have put her in daycare even if we wanted to and I was so happy to be able to "take over" and spend time with her. I don't have any advice beyond have a serious, candid discussion about expectations, budgets, etc. I wish you luck.

OP is NTA here, but it seems crystal clear her husband needs to open up about the full reasoning behind this switch-up.