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Dad causes family drama by giving bio daughter's room to stepson.

Dad causes family drama by giving bio daughter's room to stepson.


When this dad is upset with himself for doing what he THOUGHT was best for his family, he tells Reddit:

7227throwaway writes:

I’ll try to keep this short...I’ve been married to my wife for over a year now, have a stepson (14m) and a biological daughter (9f). When we married, my wife and I agreed that I would sell my house and move into hers because there’s more living space.

Stepson already had his own room, so my daughter got the extra bedroom, which is smaller than his. It was fine at first, but my daughter has a lot of stuff and soon it became too small cramped for her.

Stepson also only lives with us part time (5 days with us, 9 days with bio dad) and has a huge room at his dad’s. My daughter lives with us full time so this is her only room.

It seemed to me that the logical thing would be for my daughter to have the larger room since she has more stuff, and spends all of her time here.

Wife was hesitant at first and felt like my stepson would be upset and feel like he’s being pushed aside, but I convinced her that my daughter needed the space more so she ultimately agreed.

We ended up switching rooms this week, freshly painted them and my wife did some shopping for stepson’s new room so he’d feel special. He came home from his dad’s and we surprised him with his new room.

He reacted ok, thanked us for the new stuff and didn’t seem upset at first. But now he’s been moping and has been cold to all of us. Wife is now regretting our choice and upset at me for convincing her that it would be fine.

A LOT of people had opinions on this family drama.

nightreader5 thinks:

This is a hard one but YTA. If you guys all moved into a brand new house and have your daughter the bigger room, that would be one thing, but to pull his own room right out from under him is a little cruel and most likely made him feel as though it’s an “us vs them” situation.

If you had talked to him and asked his opinion that might have made things different.

madamexzombie writes:

NTA. This is a logical parenting move, and it doesn’t mean you love him any less. It’s simply logistics.

That being said, yeah, he’s at an age where his opinion of the matter should be heard and addressed. Ideally you should have told him the plans and the reasoning for it before doing it.

I feel like he’s probably more upset about being “tossed around” not “tossed aside.” I know when I was that age, I said “just tell me!” a LOT. Friends, parents, work… if y’all are planning something that involves me, please just tell me. Give me a heads up.

That bit of respect with letting him know “hey, Im thinking of swapping your rooms for these valid reasons. Is there anything you’d like for your new space that would make this more desirable for you?” goes a long way when it comes to feeling value.

oldnjgal disagrees:

YTA. Your stepson has to travel back and forth between both parents and you took away his only home base. That was the one constant in his life that didn’t change and you pulled it out from under him. I wouldn’t be surprised if he tries to live with his dad full time, or was that your plan all along.

Hmmm, hard to say if Dad did the right thing. It's tough having a blending family. You can't please everybody. Or can you? What could he have done differently?

Sources: Reddit
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