Starting your period is a big moment for a young girl.
For some, it's an exciting moment they've been waiting for that makes them feel more grown-up. For others, it's a scary and traumatic moment they've been dreading. Many fall in between, and the general embarrassment level of being in your early teens can only add to the drama and intensity of a first period.
While there should be no stigma or shame around starting your period, it's still a very personal experience, and many girls don't want it shouted from the rooftops.
He wrote:
AITA for telling family about my daughter's period?
I (38M) have a daughter, Anna (12), who got her period Monday. I was talking with my mom (71) a day or two ago and Anna came up so I mentioned that Anna got her period. My mom ended up telling a bunch of other family members including my sister (32F) and aunt (68F).
My sister sent my daughter a text about it being good timing or something because my daughter doesn't go back to school until next week so she'll be able to 'get the hang of it' by then. My daughter showed it to me and started screaming saying that her period was private and I shouldn't have told anyone. She is mortified and upset.
I talked to my wife (36F) about it because I don't see the big deal -- we don't keep secrets in this family and I don't think periods are anything to be embarrassed about but my wife took my daughter's side and said that in the future I should ask Anna before I share any details of her life with anyone, especially my mom who likes to share family information.
I really thought it wasn't an issue, but now I'm wondering, AITA?
fabulousautie wrote:
YTA and so is your mom and your sister, and any other family members who participated in that conversation. I think de-stigmatizing periods is important, but don’t discuss another person's body without their consent. You embarrassed her and you owe her an apology.
3xlduck wrote:
YTA big time. This is highly personal info. Esp at that age. She's entitled to some privacy, sheesh. Also, you just got on her 'don't tell dad anything' list. If you don't want to be on that list, then go apologize and reassure her that you will ask from now on.
judgy_mcjudgypants wrote:
Yes YTA. It's possible to consider periods normal and still not gossip to all and sundry about someone else's period. The choice is not a binary 'tell no one out of shame' / 'announce to the world'. There's a middle ground that involves respect. Your daughter deserves an apology and your mom deserves an information diet.
Stan_of_Cleeves wrote:
You seem to not understand that something can be PRIVATE without being SECRET. Yeah, YTA. Periods are natural, normal, and not shameful. But info about someone else’s period isn’t something you should share without asking them.
Sorry_I_Guess wrote:
'I don't see the big deal -- we don't keep secrets in this family'
It's a big deal because it was none of your business, it's none of their business, and it's not an appropriate topic for 'family discussion'. And it has nothing to do with secrets. It's not a secret, it's PRIVATE. Did you seriously make it all the way to the age of 38 without understanding the difference between 'keeping secrets' and 'respecting someone's privacy?'
'and I don't think periods are anything to be embarrassed about'
They're not. But just because something isn't 'something to be embarrassed about' doesn't mean that it's an appropriate topic of group conversation. Again: private. People are entitled to keep their intimate bodily goings-on private.
It has nothing to do with being 'embarrassed'. It's just not your business to decide to discuss someone else's bodily functions with other people without their consent. Let me put it this way: if you got jock itch (aka, a common minor fungal infection) on your p&nis, that's nothing to be embarrassed about either.
It happens sometimes, even just from being really sweaty at the gym. No big deal. Easily cleared up with some anti-fungal cream. If your daughter happened to find out that you had a minor fungal infection on your penis, would you want her to tell three random family members of her choosing about your minor penis issue? Why not? It's nothing embarrassing.
Happens to men all the time. Are you starting to see my point? This isn't about secrets, or shame. It's about things that are NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Including your daughter's body; your daughter's bodily functions; and discussing either of those things with ANYONE without her consent. Learn to respect people's privacy. Until you do, YTA.
Clearly, OP made a mistake. Hopefully, he's able to really take on the internet's feedback and apologize to his daughter.