Dad won't send money to son after major pathological lying. Wonders if he enabled him.
When this dad is furious with his son, he asks Reddit:
'AITA for refusing to provide for my son (M20) any further?'
My son (M20) is studying at italian university, he doesn't work and therefore my wife and I have always provided for him. Before he moved to Milan to study, I opened a checking account in his name, leaving him more than enough money to cover his expenses (I pay the university tuition and rent, therefore they’re not one of these expenses).
Evidently it was a big mistake, because after a few months my son came to ask me for more money because he had already drained his bank account, mainly for disco nights.
After a heated discussion with him, my wife and I decided to close the bank account and give him a prepaid card, in my name, reloaded up by us. It went better for a few months, until, a few weeks ago, my son asked me for an extra reload to be able to visit his girlfriend (a really lovely young woman) who lives in southern Italy and spend two weeks with her.
After he promised me that he would use the money responsibly, I granted his request… too bad I got a call yesterday from his gf’s father, saying he's really sorry that my son br0ke his arm and can't go to spend the holidays with them in August. Obviously, my son didn't break a damn thing.
So I find out that the boy spent almost all the money from the last recharge to buy Play Station 5. When I ask him about it, his only justification is that a new spiderman game has to come out and he can't play that with the old playstation.
If my son had been honest with me, I would have bought that play station for him. But I can't accept being ridiculed in this way, which is why my wife and I have decided to also take away his prepaid card and give up from now on paying him anything other than his studies.
My son started yelling at us, insulting us and threatening to leave the house which he actually did, only to come home for dinner.
He said it's over and he doesn't recognize me as a father anymore. He doesn't want to talk to me anymore and he's angry with his mother too. He says his girlfriend will leave him because of me. I wonder first of all what I did wrong as a father and then if I really am the asshole in this story... AITA?
Let's see what internet users had to say.
frannyfranfran9 writes:
NTA - I wish that was clear to you. You are absolutely not the AH here. Your son has verbally disowned and insulted you. He has a lot of nerve saying that to you when you bank roll his entire life. You and your wife should seriously consider discontinuing to pay for his studies. He clearly has zero respect for you and your wife.
nohomers writes:
ESH he is this way because you give him money with no consequences if he blows it! This seems pretty obvious, dad. And frankly his gf should break up with him because he LIED to her! And also because he sounds like a spoiled child.
froggyminibreak writes:
ESH for enabling your son. You are giving your adult child free tuition, free rent, free money, allows him to fake medical injuries for money, talks rudely to you whenever he wants, and acts like a spoiled brat, and somehow your son has not learned any proper money management skills. Why? Cause you enable him!
'if my son had been honest with me, I would have bought that play station for him' WHY?! You are creating a system where he doesn't have to work for anything because he knows daddy will fix everything and buy him anything he wants. You are raising an entitled child and that is due to your parenting skills.
He is a goddamn adult, he should work on his own financial management skills and not act like an entitled child. You are raising him to be a spoiled brat, he is even lying about a serious medical injury to get money from his girlfriend's parents. Have him get a job.
Why is your son acting so irresponsibly? Because an irresponsible adult raised him while leaving him with no valuable life skills to sustain himself with! My advice: continue to pay for his education. Make him get a part-time job (so he can still focus on his studies) and he has to pay 50% of his rent.