Daughter tells mom she has PTSD from being caught in flood; Mom: 'I started laughing.'
AITA For Telling My Daughter That She Doesn't Really Have PTSD?
I (42f) have three children: 14f, 8m, and 2f. Last year, our house flooded during a storm and it's still taking time to get everything repaired. My children and I are staying with my brother until we can return back home. It's been an adjustment for everybody but we're managing.
My younger daughter has her moments but she was really too little to remember any of the actual flooding. My son was pretty anxious in storms for a few months but has gotten over it as he realizes that what happened to us is relatively rare for the area. Initially, my older daughter was doing okay but now that it's around the year-anniversary she's gotten a lot more worried.
The thing about my daughter is that, unlike her siblings, she's been afraid of thunderstorms her entire life, and it was actually kind of odd how not-afraid she's been for this past year. I thought she had just aged out of the fear. Now that it's returned, I figured that last year must have been a fluke and she's gotten back to being her normal self.
So, when my daughter came to me a few nights ago stating that she thinks that she has PTSD, I started laughing. I wasn't laughing at her, I was laughing because it's absurd. None of us have PTSD and I can say as her mother that her current fear levels are not a product of any PTSD, but simply a return to her pre-flooding fear of thunderstorms.
However, ever since our conversation, my daughter's refused to talk to me. I confronted her about her rudeness and told her that, though I understand that she's afraid of thunderstorms and has been forever, she doesn't really have PTSD.
She'll age out of her fear in time, and I think she can get over most of it when we can go back home. She told me that I'm mean and don't listen to her. I don't think I'm terribly mean but my brother told me that I could have been nicer, so I figured that I would ask, AITA?
More info from OP:
I didn't say it wasn't traumatic, I just said that I don't think she has PTSD. None of the rest of us have anything remotely like PTSD.
When she hears anything remotely like rain she'll jump up and check all the windows. She never used to do that before, but I don't understand because this behavior only started around the one-year anniversary. I figured that, if it were PTSD, she would have been doing it since the flood.
She'll do it when there's animals walking across the roof too, anything that remotely sounds like pattering rain.
Where would she know that she has PTSD? I think she's scared but I don't think she can just go around claiming PTSD. It's a legitimate disorder that shouldn't be minimized.
Here's how people judged OP:
Riposte12 asks:
INFO - Where did you pick up your psychology degree and license to practice therapy?
Old_Mouse_5786 OP responded:
Nowhere.
Then how the living f**k do YOU know she doesn't have PTSD? YTA
454_water writes:
I'm going to go with NAH. Your daughter's fear of thunderstorms was probably compounded by the flooding of your house. So, yes, she does have fear of losing her home because of what happened. And you shouldn't ignore this. For a 12 year old saying that she has PTSD...I'd have laughed at that too. Shit/life happens.
Usual-Role-9084 writes:
YOU confronted HER about HER rudeness? YOU, the person who LAUGHED at her fear? “I wasn’t laughing at her, I was laughing because it’s absurd”. Come tell me to my face that you’re a good mom. But don’t get all salty when I laugh in your face. I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing because it’s absurd. YTA.
nottelling411 writes:
So, your daughter has a life long fear of storms, loses everything due to a storm, and you laugh at her. And, golly gee, now she's upset. Whatever could be the problem? YTA